Twist Me | Ghorror

Perspective | Chapter 14

The second I got through the front door of my apartment I collapsed onto the floor in front of my door. My brain was going over way too many thoughts to be able to function properly to walk anymore. Ricky words were running on repeat in my head and I was having flash backs to back when I was younger, in the process of getting help to get me to where I am.

I didn't know how to feel. I always felt like this was too much work to hold myself back but I never really thought too much about any other options. Was the way Ricky does things the right way? Should I go about it that way? Was it worth it? If he had made it this long doing it there had to be a upside to it.

So many things started to flooded my mind like taking out my anger in way I used to. To get rid of people who I couldn't stand. I know I would feel better, there would be less stress on my shoulder. I know I have thought about harming my co workers but would that really help me?

"Devin? I thought you weren't coming back till the end of the weekend." I heard another voice say followed by a meow.

Looking up from where my gaze was caught on the floor I saw Vinny holding my cat as he came out of the kitchen. I was rolling my eyes at him because he waited this late to fed my baby. I guess that's why I wasn't greater by him when I walked in.

I stood up as I dusted off my clothes, trying to pull myself together for the sake of not wanting another person to see me upset tonight. "Ya I was but things didn't go as planned. Thanks for taking care of my baby for me though." I told him with a fake smile as I walked pat him to go sit on the couch. At least once he leaves I can have my mental breakdown comfortably.

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that. Do you want to talk about it?" He ask as he scratched the back of his neck. He wasn't good at comforting people at all and I think we both knew that but I did appreciate his attempt.

"I think I'll be good but thanks for asking." I told him in the calmest voice I could mage right now. He gave me a subtle nod as he set my cat back down on the ground and went to walk out the front door.

"Wait!" I exclaimed at him before he could pull the door open. I knew this was going to be one of my few chances to talk things through with someone who had a different out look. The only struggle about this is how to go about wording it without giving the true meaning away. 

He stop for a moment and turns to look at me, waiting for me to finish my statement to him. He was looking at me like he was actually concerned for me and it made me feel a small bit better about saying anything to him.

Most people anger me beyond belief without trying but for some reason he did the exact opposite. There was just something about his personality that made it almost impossible to hate him, he was just relaxed. 

"What's you opinion on the idea of right from wrong? Do you think it's as black and white as we are thought to think of it?" I ask him. I didn't have much fate in his response to be honest. He didn't seem like the brightest crayon in the box to put it kindly but who knows maybe he will surprise me.

He stop dead for a second and I could tell he was lost in thought. We stayed in silence for a few moments before he looked at me and I could tell that he had his thoughts together.

"I guess what's right from wrong has to be something you decided on your own. Everyone does things for different reasons." He spoke in a mumble like he was unsure of himself. He probably wasn't use to having to think so much.

"Did something happen tonight? Are you going to be okay when I leave?" He ask me and I wasn't to sure how to respond. I know I'll be okay but I would probably just be panicked for the rest of the night.

I gave him a soft, reassuring smile. "I'll be fine and nothing really happened. Just a small disagreement." I guess if you could call finding out the guy you're seeing is a serial killer and that he got into your psychiatric files a small disagreement.

"Okay well you know where to find me if you need to talk to someone. Have a good night." He told me as he made his way out of the apartment, leaving me to my thoughts once again.

My cat wander over to me and jump up on my lap, curling up. At least somethings never change.
I absentmindedly stroked his fur as I let my mind wander one again.

The past was somewhere I didn't like to think back to much but since it was brought up there was so much flooding back to my mind I had forgotten about over the years.

The many trips to different doctors, to psychologist, counselor, social workers and everything in between that are meant to help teenagers that have a shit ton of problems.

None of them really could figure out what was wrong with me and they always eventually gave up along the way. That's way I was put into a metal facility. No one, not even my parents wanted to help me anymore. It was there last restore to get me better. To put me in a normal state of mind.

I mean at one point I was kick out of an anger management group. Those types of groups are designed to help people like me and they couldn't even deal with it.

I don't really know why I gained control but one day I just decided I wanted to have a somewhat normal life. It seems like Ricky wants to bring something else out in me though.

As much as that side of myself interested me I never thought I would become like that again. I worked too hard to become stable like I am now. It shouldn't even be a thought in my mind to change that but somehow it was now all I could think about.

I wanted to go back and harm everyone that drove me passed my breaking point. All the people who stop me along the way were to blame too. They were trying to change me.

My lazy coworker don't deserve the air the breathe in my opinion. It's not like they're really doing anything productive for the world. It won't change much if they were gone.

Possible Ricky was on to something with how he deals with things. Maybe he is doing it the right way and everything everyone else had told me was wrong.

I think all I need to really do now is think of this in a different perspective. If I only think of things one way I'll never get anywhere with this.

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Okay thank you all for reading and voting on this story and for everyone that was left any form of feedback I really appreciate it. For anyone who is interested I posted a new story called Locked Away and I would really love it if you all could go check it out and tell me what you think. It's a lot different from this story but I think you'll all still enjoy it.