Tangled Fates: BTOB Sungjae ✔

Prologue

I'll do anything to be with him again.

Those are my thoughts every ticking of the clock as I feel myself slowly dying inside.

I don't even know if it's day or night. I just stay in one place, holding onto his favorite shirt. The first few weeks were painful and filled with unstoppable tears. Now, it's been a month and I don't cry like that anymore, but the more time passes, the more painful it gets and the tears still fallㅡjust calmer, quieter.

Nothing is more painful than knowing you can't ever see someone you love so much with all your heart and soul anymore. Nothing is more painful than losing someone because of death.

People come from time to time and tell me to move on and get myself togetherㅡthat there's a whole world outside this house, but they don't understand. He was my world and since he's gone, it feels like life drained out all the colors from a beautiful paintingㅡI don't feel alive anymore.

I could still remember the things he used to do once he got home everyday from work. He would always find me in the kitchen, preparing dinner for both of us, then he would wrap his arms around my waist from the back and then he would kiss my temple without a word. I'd smile and ask him about his day. He always told me the good things, the bad things were rare. He always tried not to make me worried. We would spend the rest of the night talking about our future plans, we would make love and we would wake up next to each other the next morning with smile on our faces. We were... deeply in love. He's my everything. I was his.

In my hand is the framed picture from our wedding day. It's only been a week of us being a married couple but he was taken away from me already. It's so unfair.

Just one more day,
one more night,
one more time...
with him is all I pray for.

Nobody understands how bad this heartache is. I feel like dying.

So the next day even before the sun rises, I finally got on my feet. I walked slowly towards the door and opened it. The cold wind touched my skin softly.
Wearing only a thin fabric of cloth, it felt so cold as I climbed the stairs barefoot up to the rooftop. I stepped on the railings as tears continued flowing down my face.

Sungjae-ah, I miss you.

I turned my back on the view underneath and closed my eyes before I spread my arms open and let my body fall.

So bad.

I opened my eyes and saw the beautiful sky at dawnㅡa mixture of orange, gray and purple. And then I closed my eyes again and saw darkness.

Why is everyone so afraid of dying? Death isn't scary at all.

See you soon, Yook Sungjae.