Angel In Disguise

Chapter 14

Pain.

That was all she could feel.

Unbearable pain.

She felt as if her chest would burst open from it.

He knew now and there was nothing she could do about it.

He now knows she had not been able to escape everything.

The pain that caused her had her doubling over as she clenched her stomach.

She never wanted him to find out.

She didn't want him to look at her differently.

Didn't want him to hate her but it was too late.

He knew.

She didn't know how long she knelt in the middle of the parking lot crying her eyes out.

She couldn't stop the images even if she tried.

One after the other they flitted through her mind. At that moment every single thing done to her, by the one who was supposed to love her, and in vivid detail ran through her mind.

The first time they met.

How she had shied away from him because of her fear of men.

How he had smiled kindly at her and apologized for knocking her bags of groceries out of her hand.

How he'd helped her pick everything up and put them back into their respective bags.

Then the moment he'd asked to see her again.

Her first date.

Her anxiety and anticipation when the night came which so happened to have been her birthday.

How he'd complimented her on the dress she'd bought at a yard sale.

How he'd tentatively kissed her cheek good night after dropping her off.

Asking to see her again.

Three months later asking her to be his girlfriend after assuring her he totally agreed with her decision to wait until after marriage.

Then everything was great.

Until he came home late.

And late.

And late.

And later.

Then the argument.

He hit her.

Promised never to do it again.

Everything was fine.

He hit her again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

He stopped and said he was sorry.

He proposed.

She had never been so happy in her life. Maybe this would stop him from hitting her.

It wasn't.

Then he wanted to take their relationship to the next level.

She said no.

He didn't care.

He forcefully took what he wanted.

Again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

He disappeared a year after.

She thought he was gone for good.

He wasn't.

Life isn't a fairytale. You're Prince won't come riding up to you on a strong, white stallion, dressed in all his finery with his sword drawn riding speedily to come save you.

Life is complicated. It's challenging and rough and hard and unfair.

We are going to get hurt. It's inevitable. It could be by a brother or sister. Your mother or father.

Your girlfriend or boyfriend. Your wife or husband. A stranger. Yourself.

But at the end of the day life is just a living. It's excellent to be living rather than surviving.

Living means you had looked every single challenge.

Ever failure.

Every hurt.

You'd looked them into the eye and told them you weren't backing down.

You'd told them you'd fight until you couldn't fight anymore and then some.

You'd looked at them and told them 'I'm not giving up'.

Because at the end of the day our struggles never came to destroy us. They didn't come to tear us down. Rather they came to build us up for something great. Be it a person or the higher level we need to go.

It won't last forever. You won't always hurt. One day it will all end. The pain will stop and you'll realize you are stronger than when you first began.

Maya knelt and cried that day until she was physically weak. Everything hurt but during those minutes she had made up her mind.

This was her life. She had escaped death, both in the physical and emotional sense, to allow herself to fall into self-pity and lose herself.

She made up her mind to fight. She wouldn't hide behind Luke anymore. She wouldn't look for a knight in shining armour to come and save her.

This was her battle. This was what she had to do and by the grace of God she would do it. She was tired of hiding and running and crying. She was tired of being hurt.

It was time she took herself back. It was time she was on the offense and not defense. It was time for her to be the one throwing the punches. It was time she lived.