Short Stories

Hushed

I don't know why I did this. i just started writing and this is what came up. I surprised myself.

I advise to listen to the music whilst reading. ^^

- Skyler.

I was debating whether or not to update this...do read the bold writing once you've finished.

Hushed I stay, no sound willing to escape, remaining as silent as the dead.

My lips stay shut, dry. Untouched. The more I try to open them, it seems like the tighter it will close, like the hold of a bond unwilling to be released.

Soundless I stay. Even when the urge to speak never comes.

Why?

I don't know.

Cry. I want to cry. But how?

Everything I did placed me somewhere I'd never imagined would be me, frozen like the stillness of a mountain, fixed until the force of something unimaginable causes it to build. Move. But I can't, my body is as hard as rock, nothing can bring it to life.

I look down around me, yet all I see is blood. Pools of blood.

Where am I?

I don't know.

I just want to go home, but then I don't know which way to go. Instead I sink deeper into the deep scarlet, consuming me whole and pulling me under, in a world of fire, repent and anger.

What do I do?

I don't know.

All I do know is the stiller I stay; the further I go.

Even then, rooted to the spot, I'm paralysed as if I'm nowhere else but in space. The nerves begin to kick in and I feel myself shaking, and though I hold no control I force myself to stop.

Surprisingly it seems to be the only thing that I manage. Shock builds in me and I want to laugh and I don't understand what about it is the cause of me feeling so jubilant. The little movement makes me feel a tinge bit alive. Yet, even then the flood of blood floats around my body, sticking onto my skin as if it were a layer itself.

The stress. The sorrow. The pain. Is what brought me where I am now. A place where I am stuck between one place and another, with door after door after door. Which one do I choose? Either it leads to darkness or either leads to light. But how? Lying in the middle of nowhere, hearing voices that I will never be able to reply to again. And Why?

Because I lost the little hope that drained out of me within a fraction of a second, unable to bear my life as if it were a piece of paper, used once, forgotten the next.

Before me lies the knife, the dagger, and the razor.

Cut. Bruised. Marked.

The pleasure, and the need of knowing it's what I deserved is all that lingered in my mind as I allowed myself to hurt without bothering who cared.

Who cared?

The ones who sit beside me, sobbing with mercy. Hoping. Praying I can look them in the eye and bring the lost hope now being worn out of them by the second. Minute by minute; day by day. Turning into months, they wait.

My heart yearns to reach out for them but even then the beats are limited, all because of me and my lost belief in life.

They tried to help and I turned them away. Choosing to take the path I now regret, and will regret for how ever long I'm forced to face it.

I should've known.

Sooner than later.

Now is when I realise my position. Stuck in a place where only lord knows will I ever see the light of day again.

I wish I could stop what I've now done. I could've done so much more and now I've brought more sorrow for all those I thought would've brought peace.

Peace.

What does that mean?

Tranquil yet sirens burst, deafening the tranquility without a second thought.

My fault. All my fault. If only I could show them the love that they deserved so much more rather than having to see me lay where I, myself wished should not have been so soon. I didn't help them. And now I wish I did.

They told me it wasn't my fault; realisation hits you like a bullet and that's when you feel the poison beginning to spread through your own blood, overtaking anything and everything in its path; nothing to hold it back.

One thing I know now.

Death doesn't help. It brings pain and heartbreak. And if I ever - Oh God I pray - ever see light again then I promise to never commit such a mistake.

I am loved; I am cared; I am myself. Something I shouldn't regret but instead embrace.

Everyone makes mistake and this is a mistake I will forever regret making.

I was shown the care that was meant for me and I had no right to ignore. The love that was showered upon me by my friends and family, who have made me realise how wrong I was to think I was the cause someone else's mistake.

Coated by the thick, red liquid I refrain myself to drown, as I attempt to hit reality and show my strength. I want to show the world that I won't be taken down so easily, I will fight; keeping the hope that it's not too late. Not when the voices around me encourage me to try; to fight; to live.

I don't want to go. Not yet. Not now.

God forbid anyone having to face and endure my position.

And now all that remains inside of me now is the thump of my heart, beating against my chest, begging for life, and if that stops I shall be hushed forever.

storyline.

This character has self-harmed, for those who don't understand, she believed that, self-harm was an escape but because of that she has landed into a deep sleep. Now she is stuck between the midst of life and death. A coma. She has come to realise her mistake and can only hope to come back, remain like that for who knows how long, or die.

the pool of blood is an example of all the cuts, all the harm now resulting in what she see's in the coma.(Note:I don't know if people in a coma can see anything.)

I don't know how I started all of a sudden with this because I don't self harm at all. But I've come to experience and/or read that there are people who do. And having seen and read what they say I had no other way but to express what I see, but in this. I myself don't know whether to see this in a good way or bad all I know is that I just did it, got Tyler to read it and she was intrigued which is what encouraged me to publish this extract.

With the song River of Tears, I'll admit that I got emotional but yet would never want to do something like self harming because no one deserves such pain, thinking it will make things better for them. it hurts me to see that there are people who do this thinking they're the mistake of living or of someone else's suffering. They are loved and they are cared for but sometimes it takes them time to realise who is it. I want to help because I can't bear such suffering, not only does it hurt them but me also.

Let me know what you think and I'm sorry if this affected anyone in a bad way.

river of tears^^ Alessia Cara