Mafia Boss loves me? manxboy

I give up....

!!!! WARNING VERY GRAPHIC- SUICIDE!!!!!!!

If you been having the thought of committing suicide please call  Call 1-800-273-8255. These people really care. But if your not comfortable calling you can simply send me a private message and you can talk privately with me. Because I love you all! XOXO

I just sat there in the bath crying my heart out. Now i know he will never come to save me. It's been a month and a few days and there is no sign of Dean even trying to find me.

I give up....

I'm tired of the beatings. I tired of having dead hope. I'm tired of believing that i'm really loved. I'm tired of the lies everyone tells me. I'm tired of life. I wish Leo would just kill me so i wouldn't feel no more pain.

I finished washing myself which was painful. I got out of the tub and dried my self off. He left me cloths which was a long button down shirt that went down to my knees. I sat back onto my bed and cried more. I miss my old life. I missed my little apartment. 

I miss my mom... 

I heard the door open slowly and i tensed. "Sit up darling." He said smiling at me. I sat up slowly trying not to hurt my any legs more. "Now greet me." He said holding my chin gently. A tear fell down my check and i closed my eyes tight. "L-l-o-ove." I sat there with tears falling down my cheek. "See that was easy Darling." Leo said smiling. "Come." He said picking me up. He carried me to another room. Which was bigger and had a lot of gold ans marble around. "This is where you will now sleep every night. You will now sleep with me everyday now. I'll be back in a hour or so. Get some rest." He said placing me down onto the bed then leaving the room. I sat there in terror. Now i have to sleep in the same room?! I can't do this! It feels terribly wrong. I sat there on the bed curled into a ball crying. I want to die badly now. I want everything to end. I can't stand living anymore. I want it to end. I sat up on the edge of the bed wiping away my tears. 

I rose to my feet and started walking towards the bathroom slowly. I felt so numb inside. Every painful moment, words, abuse, and thought of me being unloved came to me all at once. Even the memories i had of being a young child came rushing through my mind. I closed and locked the door behind me and stood in front of the large mirror looking at myself. My skin looked terrible. It was purple,red, and black from the bruises. I had so many cuts on me it was unbearable. My eyes was red from all the crying and my face was sore from all those punches. I was disgusting to the eye.I could't even look at myself anymore. I grabbed the mini mirror that was laying on the counter and slammed it onto the floor. I grabbed the sharpest one out of all the shards and placed it by the sink. I turned around to the tub and turned on the warm water. I opened up the medicine cabinet and grabbed random bottles of medicine and placed it by the glass shard. I turned off the water. "Goodbye cruel world.." I whispered as i took 12 pills. I grabbed the glass and stepped into the water. I laid down into the water felling the warmth. I took the blade and slashed both of my wrists. I watched as so much blood oozed out and into the water. I just laid there looking at the ceiling. It was so pretty. Everything was marble. 

I suddenly felt cold...Well this is it for me. 

Goodbye Dean

Goodbye Everyone

I'm coming to see you mom.....

I went numb and i couldn't move. This was my decision. Everything is my fault. I'm the screw up. I felt a tear fall down my cheek as I watched the darkness take over me. Now i will be reunited with my mother agai---............