Speechless (Harry Styles AU)

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-One

There was an echoing of sorts as I lay completely immobilized on the damp forest floor. I knew where I was but I remained completely disconnected from my being. My body was no longer a part of me, I was simply a mind. My eyes remained closed but I knew exactly where I was. The harsh ground no longer hurt my body but welcomed me.

I knew my body was not only immobilized by the drugs that ran rampant through my system but the cold was now taking control of what little energy I had sucking each and every cell of life out of my body and freezing it solid. Even though it was only fall the cold was bitter and harsh against the bare skin that was revealed by my dress.

I knew now that this would be my end; this is where I would breathe my final breath here in this godforsaken woods. My last words to my mother would be those of dismissal, words that simply said to escape from the moment. Not words that were worthy of a goodbye.

I couldn’t help but let my mind wander through the event of my life. They say your life flashes before your eyes when you died but for me, my death wasnt instant. My Life, instead walked slowly before me, holding my hand as we strolled through together watching each moment.

First, was my accident, though I was very young it was as clear in my mind as it had happened yesterday. The innocent and carefree fun that I experienced in the moments before my life would change. My light, high pitched voice that giggled and squealed with the excitement that I experienced from the simple joy of playing on a play set.

Then arose the moment that would change my life forever, I was hanging out the side of the jungle gym calling loudly to my mother trying to gain her attention, then darkness. When I awoke I was silent.

Life and I didn’t linger on that moment, simply touching on it like it already knew that I knew that moment like the back of my hand, the moment of the doctors telling me my fate, my mother breaking down and crying tears of extreme sorrow, my father lowering his head in disbelief and my sister, Veronica, remaining stone cold serious, not a single waver of emotion passing over her young face.

Life then pulled me forward, bringing me through the terrors of my childhood, in  elementary school I was exiled, put into separate classes for ‘special kids’, knowing fully well that I was an outcast even through my innocence.  I had no one to call a friend; my sister began to distance herself from me saying that we were only sisters outside of school. My mother and father’s fighting started then, during my elementary school years it was minimal, over silly things like the dishes or who was supposed to bring me to school the next day.

Even though life wasn’t easy it was the best time of my life. I still lived in a bubble of ignorance to the vile nature of those people around me. It was the best time of my life, I had no friends but I still had fun. Playing games made up by my overly active imagination.

But Life was not satisfied leaving me here in the bliss of my childhood. I continued forward to middle school years when the vile nature echoed through not only the hours I spent at school but those now spent at home.

My mother and father’s fighting was unceasing and now it was all about me, not pointless things but things that involved me and my special disability. They would fight from the moment I woke up in the morning to the moment my head hit the pillow. Their voices piercing my ears as I lifelessly passed through the halls of my home.

School was torment, I had managed to gain one friend through all of the torturous moments that I spent in the school but she was as reliable as my parents’ getting along was. She was frivolous, crazy, an outcast just as I was but for her, it was chosen, she was involved in strange things that I dared not to ask her about. I would rather stay in the darkness than be welcomed into her crazy world. When we did spend time together it was just her rambling on about things that I could have cared less about.