Saving Link

Chapter Fourteen

(Italics are what Link, in the coma, is thinking and hearing.)

Distorted voices echo through my head. All around me is blurred and fuzzy. I can hear voices, sobs of broken-hearted people. The sounds bounce through my head as though I was in an empty hallway. I can't see well at all. It's like when my glasses are off, but much worse, much blurrier. Sometimes, everything is dark, it waves in and out. And when it's dark, I usually see light patterns dancing before my closed eyes. Lighting the darkness with their elaborate movements and squiggles. There are moments when I'm lucky enough to make out what the echoing voices say. And I can even tell who says it.

"Link, they left. It's just me now. Visiting hours are over. I know enough about coma's to know you hear me right now, well hopefully you do. But even if you don't, it helps me to think you can, it helps me to talk to you. So, we're in the hospital. Both of us. I have to stay two to four days, you've got a lot longer than that, though. But you won't be going through it alone. Not at all. I know I already said this to you, but I am going to be right with you every second I can be. I promise you that. Look at you, you're so skinny, and there are tons of monitors and IVs. I know you don't like those, brother. I know they might be bothering you, but they're keeping you alive."

Rhett's eyes closed and he took a shaky breath, he was scared. No, terrified would be the more accurate description. Link truly was in a bad place right now. He could die if something were to go wrong. He was too weak and hurt to bounce back by himself. He needed the monitors, medications, IVs, everything to keep his heart pumping blood, to keep his lungs accepting the oxygen being forced into them. He took another deep breath before continuing.

"I know you told me not to apologize, but I still need to. I am so sorry. I knew that couldn't be you. I knew you would never act that way, and then throw me out of your house. That could never happen. You can get a temper, but you know between the two of us, I lose mine more often. You have never exploded at me like that, and I knew you never would. You never could. And neither could I. You see, I could have stopped this all. I could have saved you before any of this happened. I can't help but blame myself. I try to look out for you, protect you, be a guardian angel to you, but I failed this time. I know you'd say it wasn't my fault. That you aren't even the slightest bit upset with me. I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't know. You'd say it was your fault. But, brother, I can't stop thinking the way I do. And I'm so sorry about that. It just needed to get this off my chest and to know it's not reaching deaf ears."

I wanted to speak. No, I actually needed to speak. I had to talk to Rhett. Help him before he gets depressed. Was he getting depressed? No, no of course not. Rhett couldn't. He wouldn't. He won't. I won't let him. I wanted to tell him so much. Had to tell him so much. He needed to know everything that was on my mind. The words that were in my head, on the tip of my tongue, couldn't be spoken. I can't move. I can't wake up. I feel like I have been restrained in every way possible. My senses are damped, as though I was underwater, but even that, I can't feel the metaphorical water that surrounds me. I can't feel anything, not the cold that blankets me, not the tears that are falling from my eyes. I am crying. I am scared, but hurt. 

"Link, a-are you crying? Oh no, does it hurt? Are you in pain? Please, no. Not more pain. You've been through enough of that already."

Rhett, oh my dear Rhett. My brother, my very best friend, you don't understand. You don't understand that you, you are the one hurting me. I feel no physical pain, I feel absolutely nothing, but my heart, my heart can feel the frigid blade that stabs it when your lips uttered those horrible words. And the inflection of your voice, you are holding back tears. Not only because of what I'm going through, your tears are from guilt. As if this was your fault in any way. I would promise you it isn't, yet I know I can't. You can't hear me either. You don't understand the pain you are causing me. Forgive yourself for the wrongs you never committed. If you could hear me, I could never tell you this. I know it would completely shatter your heart if you knew the pain you are causing me. So, I'm almost glad you can't hear. How badly I could use a hug right now. I am sobbing in my head. I need you. I need you so badly.

And Rhett, when we were in that house, trapped, the thing that helped me the most was to be in your arms. I am a broken man, weaker than I ever have been in my life. But you, Rhett, you have mended my small breaks over and over. The large crack is still there. The break in me that only you can take away. I need a hug so badly. To feel again would be such a gift. I can't feel at all. But I know in my heart that if you were able to hug me right now, I could feel it. I know I could. But how could you know that I need you so badly right now. You can't. I feel so alone and scared. Help me, Rhett. Please, help me.