"oh, fuck."
those were his first words to her.
"shit, sorry."
and those were her first words to him.
neither could have guessed what'd come of meeting on the rooftop of their building at midnight when they both needed a getaway from their own profou...
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• wait // nf •
5c are you awake? (delivered at 4:06am)
7b i am now (read at 4:07am) are you okay?
5c yeah. sorry i woke you
7b kaede come on
5c no i'm good, sorry
7b do you want me to come over? (read at 4:09am) kae?
5c yes
7b on my way
Not five minutes later, Jax's white-shirt-and-blue-plaid-pants-wearing-self showed up at Kaede's bedroom doorway. "You know, leaving the front door unlocked has become quite a dangerous habit of yours."
The girl chuckled softly and turned her face into her pillow to hide the redness under her eyes.
His smirk faded away at her silence and turned into a sad smile at her broken aura. "What's wrong?" She didn't say anything, but he took her sniffle as a response loud and clear. He slowly walked up to the bed, waiting for her to stop him. When she didn't, he sat on the opposite side of her, close to the edge, and asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"
He saw her shake her head in the moonlight—the only source of light in the room.
"Another nightmare?" To this, she nodded. "Can I lay with you?" Another nod. Jax put himself under the blankets. He laid closer to the middle, resting his arm above her head as if opening himself to her, but not holding her unless she asked for it.
Kaede didn't speak—the reason for which Jax could only assume was that she was afraid to stutter. What she did do, was move closer to him. She put her arm on his chest and snuggled into his left side, then releasing a deep and shaky breath when she found herself comfortable. He put an arm on her back, rubbing soothing circles as he did the last time.
She focused on his heartbeat while trying to calm her own. Her anxiety was getting worse, and she knew why. But Jax didn't, and he didn't ask because he knew she didn't want to say out loud whatever it was.
Eventually, Kaede fell asleep. The artist knew it by the way her heart rate and breathing flowed at a steady pace. He continued to hold her, putting his right arm around her as even more protection. He kissed the top of her head and whispered a soft goodnight. Then he closed his eyes and fell asleep with the peace knowing she was finally calm.
***
They woke hours later—Jax, first. He was staring at the ceiling, counting the tiles in her room to busy himself. He'd made it to 418 when Kaede finally drifted out of sleep. She breathed in deeply with her eyes still closed, but the scent that came through wasn't what she was used to. She quickly opened her eyes to find her limbs tangled with Jax's and her head still on his chest.
Kaede lifted herself slowly, stretching in the process. Looking over her shoulder, she saw him watching her, almost as if he was trying to be careful about what to do next. She glanced at the clock that read 9:43AM.
"I'm sorry I made you come over here so late," she said, yawning through half the sentence and laying her head on her own pillow.
"I don't mind," he whispered, turning on his side to face her as she did the same. "That's three nights in a row, Kae. Can you tell me what's bothering you?"
She sighed, shaking her head. "You'd think after nearly three years of living here that I'd get better at sleeping alone after a nightmare," she chuckled humourlessly. "In case you haven't realized, I've got an anxiety disorder. I've been pretty good since I moved away. I get these pills that I take every once in a while, but they don't help everything."
Jax nodded, noticing she didn't want to say anymore. Knowing it was a stupid question, but not being able to help to ask, he said, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," she responded, way too quickly.
"No, you're not."
"Sure I am," she shrugged a shoulder.
He squinted at her, and asked, "How many times are you going to say you're fine before you actually start to believe yourself?"
Kaede was silent a moment, then said with an emotionless expression that nearly broke his heart, "As many times as it takes."
