aurora- a different (twilight) saga

chapter five: depression

I had such a nice evening at the Cullens. Allthough not as i hoped for. I heard a lot but didn't get one answers I needed.

After Carlisle stopped mumbling his face went smiling. "Dear Bella, don't be afraid. We will be here for you whenever you need any help."

"We are what? Edward broke through the silence. He looked pissed of again.

"Edward! Behave yourself. don't you dare mourning the sun!" Carlisle said.

This was the moment when I remembered this song. Don't you mourn the sun. I laughed and everyone was starring.

"Sorry, it is nothing".

Carlisle took me for hunting. He wanted to watch me -an unusual Newborn- hunting.

We went deeper into the forrest and I hunted a deer again. The respect for life which i had influenced me strongly. I would never hunt a young one. So I went for the oldest and ended his life in less than 10 seconds. I thanked the universe for feeding me and mourned the soul I have killed. But unfortunately I had to drink something.

Carlisle watched me like he was looking into a miracle. A wonder of the world.

After 20 Minutes we were back at the Cullen Mansion. Everyone was looking at me.

"what did Alice tell you? " I asked ashamed. " I am a good Vampire. please don't stare at me like this!"

"oh we are really sorry dear". Esme smiled.

"You freak me out. I have to go now. I am sorry for taking your precious time. Have a good night everyone". If I could have cried I would have.

"Oh Universe. What have I done wrong. Now I found Vampires and why couldn't they like me for myself. I will be forever living in pain. Suffering from lonesomness."I mumbled while I was heading back home.

Charlie was of course up. Allthough he had an early shift tomorrow.

"Bells you are home. How was your evening? How are the Cullens?" he was curious, nervous and tempted at the same time.

"Very friendly and the are sending you their greetings too". I faked a smile.

"Dad, If you don't mind I am really tired and need to get sleep."

"Of course, bells. Night"

I was heading upstairs but turned around went to him. Gave him a hug. He started shivvering.

"Thanks dad. love you. Good night"

"Love you too. Bella"

Now I have been in Forks for 3 months. It was really could now. Not for me but the weather was really bad. My Mom was happy for me to bound so deeply with dad. She missed me. I felt it but she was brave and strong. It was the best for us.

The Cullens were friendly to me with exception of Edward. He didn't look pissed of but he showed kind of anger in his eyes. All of them tried to leave me in peace. They may were worried not to bring more trouble into my life.

I didn't understand it. I hated Edward. No. I liked him but in an undecided way yet. May we could be good friends though.

I had one of my depression. I couldn't go to school for two weeks. My parents were not surprised since I had them from my childhood. They knew it will allways be part of my life. So they just gave me time.

I heard voices downstairs. I was just lying in the bed. listening to chopin and just starring into air when suddenly I heard the soft knock on my door.

" Dad. please leave me alone" I was sobbing.

" Bella" I heard the voice like some one singing my name. "Carlisle?"

The door opened and there was my Amun Re. Standing at the door. I sat up.

Charlie was smiling. He was so worried about me. May he had called Carlisle.

"What are you doing here?" I wispered still sobbing.

"Bella. I am here cause we needed to check if everything is OK with you." Charlie went downstairs. I am sure he wanted to give me some privacy.

" I am having just a depression."

"I thought so. Well I know it since Edward has them too -from now and then".

"What?"

"yes Bella. You are not the only one"

"Not the only one?"

"Yes. Well all gifted Vampires have them. It is well- I think it is part of the gift. Part of the burden which comes with the gift. And you dear are more special than Edward could ever be."

He sighed. " I am so sorry. Instead of taken the burden our family made it worse, right?"

I nodded. My face cold and hard as stone. Pain came to through it.

"Bella, Alice saw you coming. We first saw you as human due to your different eyes. Edward was so excited and looking forward and than it was a shock for him when he realised that you are a Vampire". 

He took a deep breath.

"I think you should spend more time with our family. May we can cheer you up a little" He looked like a worried father to me.

I didn't know why but I hugged him.