A Life I Only Dreamt Of [ON HOLD]

Chapter 13

"The world? Isn't that something you wanted to leave a few hours ago?" I asked. "Why would you want to talk about it?"
Gabbie groaned and rolled her eyes at me. She turned her body away from me, and her back was pressed against my arm.
I sighed. "I'm sorry. It was just a question. No need for an attitude."
Right then, Gabbie quickly shot up and faced me.
She yelled, "An attitude? I just tried to end my own life, and you're telling me not to have an attitude? How inconsiderate can you be? I didn't want to be saved, so of course I'm going to have a fucking attitude! If you don't like it, get the hell out!"
I jumped at the tone of her voice and just stared at her, speechless. I knew that she didn't want to be saved. No one who attempts to take their life really wants to be saved. Something was different when she said that though. It didn't feel like the Gabbie I know and love.
"Gabbie," I said softly as I placed a hand upon her's. "Tell me what's going on."
Gabbie's head turned towards the wall of the hospital room as I saw a tear fall down her cheek. Her grip on her blanket became tighter, and I noticed that she began to shake.
I sat an thought for a moment. Was what Zane did that bad? Of course it is, seeing that I was sitting in a hospital bed with Gabbie. Unless it wasn't that.
I saw Gabbie open her mouth as she forced herself to speak. "Well, I've felt awful since I was beat up by that one dude. Then you went after him, and I wanted you to stop. I really did. You got yourself hurt, and that's something I never wanted. Then when I came home with that random guy, I knew I was fucking up. He almost raped me for fucks sake, and I never told. It just looked like a kiss to you, but there was much more to it. Shit, then I decided to do things with Zane, and I changed my fucking mind last minute. He got mad and assaulted me. My life is fucked, but it's not the events. It's the emotions. I've been drained. I haven't wanted to be alive for so long, and all of the events could hide the fact that I just wanted to die. Not to get away from what was going on, but to get away from myself. For that, I am truly sorry."
   I just stared at her. What did she have to be sorry for?
   I held open my arms as Gabbie fell into them. We were back at the same spot. Back to me holding her as she cried and cried. I knew exactly how this all folded out, but maybe it would be different since we were in a hospital.
   Holding her close, I fell against the pillows and pulled the blanket over us. She was tired and so was I, so I decided to let her cry herself to sleep.
   I put my head on hers and ran my hand up and down her back slowly.
   She was finally asleep, but I still laid awake and looked out the open door of her hospital room. I saw nurses walking by, and one even popped her head in to make sure everything was okay. She did have a supervisor since when someone is put into the ICU for attempted suicide, you always have someone watching. The nurse wasn't really paying too much attention since I was in the room, and I was kind of glad for that.
   I felt Gabbie calmly breathing into my chest, and I couldn't help but smile. This was the first time that she slept this soundly for a while. Whenever she would try, she would wake up crying. I never left her room at night because I didn't want her to think that she was alone.
   If we weren't laying in a hospital, I would have began to whisper sweet words into her ear so she could wake up and tell me she heard something in her sleep. I would act like it wasn't me so she could tell me all about it.
   Gabbie shifted and made a slight groaning sound. "Baby... try and rest... love you."
   Hearing that, I smiled and nodded as a response. I finally felt tired, and so I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.