Our Time Bomb

Chapter Forty-two ~ The Past At Our Heels

Chris's pov 

At the way that man was calling me when I ran off, I'm pretty sure he's coming after me. My heart is thumping in my ears so much it is almost painful. I don't want him to catch me. I just need time alone. Talking to him and mother like a civilized person would be useless to me. I know that they'd try and make it sound nice and comfortable as possible. But would they tell us the real truth? If I know my mother as well as I think i do... probably not. 

I have the weirdest feeling in my chest right now, it's not like my usual anger. Generally, if something happened like this, I'd explode if I became angry. But lately, I've been more passive aggressive, which is so not like me at all. 

"Chris?" I hear his voice in the dark a while off behind me. 

I pick up as much speed as I possibly can. 

In just a minute he is running side by side with me. I stop and turn my back to him. This is my dad...  I think to myself, man this feels so strange. I catch my breath.

"Chris... Umm... Don't run from me please. Can we just talk about this?"  I see Red out of the corner of my eye.

I lean my forearm on a tree. "I-I can't..."
My breath feels short and panicky in my lungs.

He leans against the same tree and tries to catch my frantic gaze,  "just listen to me then. Look, If I were you, I would feel the same way. I understand completely that you are in shock."

He puts a hand on my shoulder, "Let me just say that... You have grown up to be an amazing young man. I'm afraid that If I were in your life while you were a child, I would not have done a good job and I would've only let you down. When you were born, I was only fifteen, so when you were five years old, I was only an adrenaline craving twenty year old. Honestly, your mother did the right thing. I was still a boy myself when you were growing up."

I am shocked by his touch, it is warm, communicating some sort of approval that I'd been searching for all of my life. Suddenly my shocked daze is overridden by an overwhelming sense of emotion. I feel my cheeks heating up and my eyes burn. This is my father... This is my father!
How am I supposed to react to this?

"Are you alright?" he asks.

I stare into his concerned eyes, "Since you're telling me all of this now... Does this mean that you are accepting me? You'll be part of my life now?"

His breath sounds choked in his throat, "Yes Christopher... I've wanted to for awhile but..."

Hardly knowing what I'm doing, I rush to his arms and hug him tightly. He is a little shocked but he accepts my embrace. "Thought you'd be angry." he says quietly into my shoulder.

I haven't cried in perhaps years, but now it's too much. A tremor shakes me from head to toe. Tears rush from my stinging eyes. I can't say anything for fear of choking on my words.

"It's alright," he assures me, "Your mother and I are gonna work everything out, okay?"

I nod and draw away from him, clearing my throat. "What has happened to my life..."

He tightens his lips together, searching my face sympathetically, "I know, your life must feel turned upside down, having your mother gone all of a sudden, finding out that you're Shadow Nation, then coming here and being locked up because you were feared. And now... Finding out about me. You know, I completely understand."

My heart throbs with every reminder he brings to my mind from the last months. An unexpected wave of bitterness poisons my initial shock of meeting my father. "Why did you do this... Hide from my sister and I all this time? I know it's mostly mother's fault, but how could it not even occurred to you that I needed you? Did you ever even think about me? That you had a son out there who had no one? I only had my sister. I was never on good terms with mother..."

He sighs and folds his arms,  "I would not have been a good father, and now, even though I've grown up, I'm still not father material. Yes, I thought about you and Luna often. It was unreal to me, but believe it or not, I actually met you years ago... When you and your sister were quite young, perhaps seven or eight years old. I'm sure you wouldn't have remembered me though."

"what?" I ask with curiosity.

He gets a faraway look in his dark eyes. "Well I was prowling around the marketplace when I saw Erika and you two. She was shopping and you were following behind her like little shadows. I remember my heart freezing solid with fear because the realization of who you were, I hit me like a tidal wave. Because I was deathly curious, I had to follow you guys, and I did. Unfortunately for me, your mother is no idiot, she never was. She saw me hanging around and she confronted me. She and I were somewhat friends then, despite the situation, but she wasn't happy then. She didn't like me seeing you guys.

I recall her approaching me and giving me that warning look but she pretended that nothing was out of the ordinary and she asked me what I was doing. Chris, it killed me inside, not that I wanted to change anything, but the sight of you just me feel so awful. There you were, two innocent little children and you didn't know that you were staring right into the face of your immature father. As I was briefly talking with your mom, I couldn't keep my eyes off you two. I gave you both some wrapped candy that was in the bottom of my pocket someplace.

After that time, Erika made pretty good and sure that I wouldn't see you guys again. And I didn't... Not till you came here." he sighs and looks for my reaction.

I bite the inside of my cheek with slight nervousness and confusion, "I still don't understand why mother kept us so separated from you."

He sighs, "Well... She does actually have reasons. Just because we're pretty friendly toward one another doesn't mean that what happened when we were younger had no an effect on us. At one point, I did something to her that broke her trust of me. Also, when that Gyardican came into her life, she just wanted complete isolation between you guys and me even more than before. I'm thinking it might have something to do with the fact that she probably lied to him as well, and if he found out that I was alive, he'd be upset."

"oh..." I say, "it's rather strange how you say that you guys are still friends, generally most people who have a circumstance like that... They aren't friends afterwards, especially if it involves children."

He shrugs, "Well occasionally it gets awkward, but we tried to forget it ever happened. Now that you guys are here, I'm thinking it won't be so easy, you are a living reminder of what we did when we were young."

I swallow hard, "Do you like her still?"

He inhales sharply, "Uh, we should go find your mother and Luna, they probably will wonder where we are."

I nod, "Alright."
I notice how he made it a point to quickly avoid the subject I brought up, pretending he didn't hear it. This has to mean only one thing... He still does.