Our Time Bomb

Chapter Forty-five ~ Critical Situations

Erika's pov ~

"It'll never be entirely safe for anyone in a position of power or the potential of obtaining it." I state to the three faces focused on mine. "However, I think it is certainly time now that Christopher and Luna become aware of their status and who they are. Perhaps there were downsides to what I did to protect you, but it could the reason you're both alive and well to this day."

I notice Chris's critical gaze that doesn't waver even when I pause from speaking. 

I continue to talk about reasons as to why my decisions were for the best. Hold on a moment... Am I defending myself more than I should be? I realize that most of my 'speech' so far has been in my own defense. I'm better than this. I think to myself. l

"I'm sorry..." I say, "I suppose I should've said that sooner. You all deserve my apologies."

Luna nods, "I uh... I'm sorry as well, for how I reacted earlier."

I shrug, thinking of some way to respond to that when my eye is drawn like a hot magnet to something (or someone) that's coming into the cafe. "I uh..." my voice drains.

My heart inside my chest flutters and it must've skipped about every other beat in the last few seconds. Immediately I break out sweating. Jefferson just walked in... How's this even a possibility? For us to be in the same place at the same time in this village? It's not a small place. What do I do? I'm helpless, just sitting here. What if he sees me? Most people might not recognize me, but he could.

"mum?" I hear Luna's voice from outside my racing thoughts. 

I glance quickly away from Jefferson who is in the line to the cafe counter just a couple of feet from the entrance. 

"Um, what was I saying?" I try to clean out my head desperately. "Oh right... I know you were angry, and you had every excuse to be, don't be sorry about it."

I try to calm myself but a sense of panic is undeniably strong, it's making all the hair on my body stand up. I breathe out and in slowly, while avoiding eye contact with everyone for a brief moment, doing the best I possibly can to recover myself. 

"Erika what's the matter?" Red tilts his head. 

I don't dare even turn my head in the smallest degree in the direction of my husband for fear of my family or even the man himself noticing. Wait... he couldn't notice me. I'm wearing a hood for god's sake. I'm fine! Quit worrying!

"I'm fine sorry, just feeling a bit dizzy, not sure why..."

For a moment, Red's face is concerned, but then it switches right back to being slightly bitter again as it was before, which is understandable after what I said to him a couple of minutes ago. "That's too bad."

I shake my head, "It's alright, but uh... I think I'm gonna go to the washroom real quick."

He nods, "Okay, go ahead."

Chris and Luna frown a little but are not saying much. 

In a daze, I make my way to across the wooden floor in the direction of the washrooms. As I pass by the counters where all the customers are lined up, my heart beats twice as fast. Why am I reacting so strongly to this? Because my husband is in the room, that is why, and I was on edge already. Don't worry, I tell myself, It's all gonna be fine. He will never even know I was here.

I shove open the door to the woman's room and lean on it as soon as it closes, breathing out a sigh of exhaled tension. I'm safe in here. 

I splash a little water on my face and study myself in the old mirror. I realize the tension that's caught up in my forehead. I relax my muscles purposely. I slide my hood off my head and it falls softly onto my shoulders which are tense as well. My hair is not very neat, as usual. A chunk of it falls out of the braid it was meant to be contained in. I tuck it behind my ear and look into my own eyes. They are perhaps afraid and I see a glassy, watery film that has set over them. I feel it too.