It Doesn't Matter, You Still Left

Chapter 3

I've survived a week since I saw Niall, without seeing him again. It's making me very paranoid that I know he's living in the same town as me just a few streets down and I have our one and a half year old who he doesn't even know about it.

Ugh. Why does life have to be so damn complicating?

I sat at my dinning room table moving my-now melted-ice cream around the bowl in front of me. I really haven't been in the mood for anything lately except for moping around trying to think of how I could tell Niall, if I do run into him  again, which I'm sure I will. I mean, should I stick with the 'babysitting' thing.

It's pretty obvious that she's related to Niall, so so obvious actually.... she doesn't even look that much like me.

I sighed when I heard my phone ringing from across the table. I reached over and grabbed it not even bothering to see who it was.

"Hello?' I answered holding up the phone to my ear

"Hi, glad you picked up." I froze, his Irish accent coming from over the line filling my ears

"Martha?" He asked when I still hadn't answered

"Y-ya." I stammered

"You alright?" He chuckled

"F-fine." I muttered

"Um, well I-I.." He took a sharp breath "Do you think we could meet up somewhere and talk?" 

"Why?" I questioned hesitantly

"Well I'm sure you wouldn't want me coming over to ou-your house and we need to talk."

"About what?" I snapped

"W-well, everything." He sighed

"I don't think we have anything to talk out." I said in and 'end-o-;conversation' type voice

Well we do, I just don't want to. I mentally added

I was about to hang up the phone when I heard him get louder,

"Please, give me a chance to talk to you."

I mentally slapped myself, I should've just shouted it before he closed the door and left two and a half years ago. "Ok, I guess we do." I agreed still mentally slapping myself

"Thanks." I could hear him smile over the phone "It means a lot.

"Whatever. When, where, and what time?" I asked trying to finish up the conversation as fast as possible

"How's the park, nine thirty A.M., and tomorrow?" He asked

"Ok, why so early?" I groaned

"Still not an early person I see. And I don't want to have to get caught up with fans and paparazzi, we'll never get to talk." He explained, famous people issues.

"Ok, bye."

"Bye."

I went to press the end and am pretty sure I heard a muffled 'I love you' but I choose to pretend I didn't.

I dropped my phone down on the table when I heard Paisley start crying. I walked into the living room and looked in her play pen. She was still sleeping so she must've just had a bad dream our something. I smiled at Paisley's position, her thumb was in her mouth, she was laying on her stomach and her little blue blanket that she absolutely loves was tucked under her arm.

Since she was still sleeping I decided I could do some house work. I started with the dishes, putting one ear bud in I turned on Pandora listening to whatever music decided to come on. I danced around mopping, dusting and making sure everything was in place. When I finished cleaning a One Direction song came on, I quickly tore out my ear bud and shut off my music then walked into the living room and took a seat on the couch.

I scrolled through my Twitter, which I haven't been on for two years and scrolled through all the notifications I had, they were all private messages from Niall.(I never went on and deleted him)

'I love you'

'Hope you're watching me on TV right now.'

'How are you?'

'Hope you don't hate me'

Ect.

These messages were from a few weeks after he left. There wasn't any recent ones, it looks like he gave up after a month. I swear I never saw those messages.

My heart melted as I read each one. All this time I thought he just left, moved on so easily, well I sat around with a big baby bump trying to fulfill my weird cravings and stay healthy with the biggest broken heart.

I know, Niall didn't want to hurt me on purpose... I remember when he first told me he wanted to go on XFactor

Flashback

"You have a lovely voice." I complimented Niall cuddling into him on the couch we shared in our apartment

"Thanks, Love." He snaked his arm around my shoulders pulling me closer, he kissed the top of my head.

"You should go on X-Factor or something, you'd do amazing." I smiled at the thought of watching him on TV, I'd miss him but it'd be worth it. For him.

"I thought about doing that last year but I chickened out. I'm of age and it'd be a great experience, maybe I should." I felt him shrug

"You'd do great babe. I'm sure you'd get far." I encouraged

"Britian X-Factor is having auditions in four weeks." He squeezed my shoulder lightly

"Looks like someone's been looking into this." I joked

"No.." He said inocently

"Mmhmm."

"Really think I should sign up?" He asked

"Yes." I smiled widely wiggling out of his grip I sat up and grabbed his face staring into his crystal blue eyes before I connected our lips, the butterflies flew aorund my stomach

He broke the kiss and looked at me "I'll do it."

I listened to him practice singing his audition song for hours and hours everyday clapping for him, laughing, and encouraging him. I was so proud that he was going to do it.

But when I took the pregnancy test a few days before he had to leave for auditions and it was positive, I couldn't really be happy anymore but by then I saw how much he wanted it. He got better and better each day he practiced and his mum was ecstatic when she told him and I didn't want him to be mad at me or leave forever so I didn't tell him. But the day when he was getting ready to leave he was really quiet, he wouldn't talk to me he just gave me wary looks every once in a while and I'll never forget the words he said when he was zipping his bag.

"I don't know why you're not as happy about this lately, but thanks for encouraging me. If I did anything wrong tell me before I leave."

I just shook my head and gave him the best smile I could put on for him.

Cause it was true when I shook my head, he didn't do anything wrong. It was just a dumb thing, a thing that would be with me forever. But that wasn't the point, it wasn't his fault.

I just wish I could've been exited until he left, but I just couldn't last the few more days until he left. It all just came crashing down.

Please comment what you think about the story!!

And do you think Martha is going to tell him about Paisley?

Dedication to: zoeyhearts12