Learning To Love You (Noah X Cody)

The Total Drama Continuum

There are very few circumstances in which I would put all reason aside and submit myself to an aching, and likely temporary, love story. Don't get me wrong, I can pick out people who qualify as attractive, but allowing myself to become a slave to lust was a big no-no. I have watched many suffer from infatuation that they had at the time thought was true love. I have watched those same people crumble themselves into human balls of paper and allow themselves to tossed at the hypothetical waste bin, becoming completely dysfunctional. Being the pretentious snob I am, I have much more potential than to waste my precious energy on anyone but myself.

I know I probably sound like a real genuine asshat, and it's sorta true. I suppose I'm similar to a monk. I set all romantic and sexual feelings aside so I can put all my effort into completing high school and cruising my way through adulthood without making any stupid mistakes. I know, it sounds a bit paranoid, but as cheesy and predictable as it sounds 'better safe than sorry'.

Despite my dedication and purity to my academics, I decided to send in a video audition for a reality show, that frankly seemed a bit sketchy due to the lack of details and insisting on having life insurance before applying. I figure that winning a good hundred grand can't be so bad of a deal, and with my excellent luck, perhaps I'll have something unique to put on my college applications in my oh-so bright future. I didn't do anything flashy or something completely out of character for the pretentious Noah Sterecra, so naturally I used my video audition to show off my status of student council president.

I could say I wasn't actually internally thrilled when I got the call back saying I would get to participate in whatever cheap, desperate-for-cash reality show they'll be throwing me into next week, but I'd be lying. My first instinct was to start packing my books into one suitcase. I could easily clean off a novel in a few hours if I didn't have anything distracting me, so I shoved as many as I could fit neatly into the rolling trunk, and pulled another out from my closet to fill with a pile of clothes laying on my bed. Most of them were gay looking pieces of shit, so hopefully I can make an accurate impression. It seems to be the general consensus to everyone who meets me that I'm a gay, pretentious know-it-all. I can't help but to agree.

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The second I step off possibly the noisiest motorboat boat in all of Canada, I saw a group of teenagers standing on the dock of a crappy island, that looked like it used to be a dump or something.

"Is this where we're staying?" I ask the host with a snarky tone, trying to emphasis the homo in my nasally voice. An Einstein-looking asshole cracked his knuckles and smirked.

"No it's your mother's house" he threatened snidely, "And we're throwing a party"

The dude grinned, making him look like that shark from Finding Nemo. This snowflake had a nice green-colored Mohawk sitting on top of a face full of lead piercings.

"Nice piercings Original, do them yourself?"

I point at his face that had now gone as blank as his shit-filled head.

"Yeah, you want one?"

Then Mr. Hair Gel reaches for my lower lip and pulls on it, pointing a needle downward. I rolled my eyes.

"Uh, no shank you, can I hasve my lihp bachk pleashz" I attempted to spit out, but it was muffled by his filthy hand all up in my business. He released my lip, making me stumble backwards. I rolled my eyes again, trying to make it obvious to Tough Guy With The Earrings. I escorted myself to the back of the dock, behind everyone else.

As the other super lucky contestants were boated in, I do my best to learn their names, but let's face the music. I'm not listening. Few actually make enough of an impression in my overloaded brain to stand out. There was a way too happy guy in a hot pink shirt that was completely unbuttoned. Not that I'm complaining, he's pretty hot. Another was a girl who had such big boobs she looked like she was about to topple over, but one word from her, I realize it's all the air in her head keeping her upright. There was a rather large guy who has as much energy as he has excess body fat.