God-forsaken Forgiveness

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I spent the next few hours regretting having exploded at Cody. I had told Cody to pack, but he didn't. He left the room quickly, in obvious and miserable tears. My first instinct was to follow him, and I want to say that I did, but I didn't. My idiotic head of mine was too flooded with anger and regret and jealousy to move, so I had been left in the same position, pointing toward the door, unable to convince my muscles to relax.

I knew Cody eventually had to come back for his things, and I can't explain why, but the last thing I wanted was to be here when he did.

Maybe he was giving me time to cool my jets so we could have a more reasonable conversation. I'm still debating whether I want that or not.

After what felt like hours, and what was probably seconds, I put my arm down and collapsed on the bed. I wasn't crying though, I was just reliving why exactly I was mad.

You know how sometimes you get so caught up in the action that you forget what started the drama in the first place? That's what had happened. It's my fault for being too damn stubborn.

---------

Cody did come get his things eventually, and while I was technically in the room, I was asleep. It was a very emotional sleep, as I had been dreaming of something I can't quite remember. It's that kind of thing where you can't recall any specific events in the dream, but you remember how it made you feel.

Well it didn't make me feel very good.

When I woke up, everything Cody-owned was gone, and the only proof that he had ever been here was his messy, unmade bed, and a small note on my own nightstand.

When my eyes crossed paths with the little paper, I immediately looked away, as if it contained information I didn't want to know.

For reason unknown, I didn't want to seem to eager to read it. Like a fear of seeming too caught up on Cody. Which was ridiculous considering I was alone. But it was almost like I was trying to convince myself.

I did allow myself to wake up completely before reading the paper. It was written in crude handwriting and had several scribbles on it where the writer had changed their thoughts.

Noah,

You have every right to be mad. If you let me explain it's not as bad as you think I'm being completely honest. Please?

Come to the conference room tonight at 8:30 and we can talk. If you don't show up I'll just assume you don't want to talk.

I'm so sorry,

Cody Anderson

I was still deciding if it was a good idea or not to talk to Cody when there was a knock on the door. I didn't want to open it. But I did. I don't need to make anyone else upset today.

I opened the door without looking through the foggy little peephole. It was Trent.

"Hi?" I said, not meaning to make the greeting come off as a question.

Trent flicked his eyebrows up in sort of a "cool guy" nod.

"I heard you guys fighting" he said flatly. His face had the same expression as his voice; empty.

"Sorry," I apologized sloppily, not meaning it, "I try to keep private matters private"

Trent grimaced at my coldness.

"I wasn't eavesdropping, I just thought maybe you'd want to talk about it?"

I shrugged.

"There's nothing to talk about"

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