Numb: The Absence Of Feeling

Who am I really?

I will die in here, betrayed, tortured and forgotten, my children will never know who I am. "My babies....please don't take my babies..." I wept over and over, every time when the Joker would come back a part of me hoped that he would bring the babies down to see me. But it hasn't happened and won't ever happen.

I haven't heard anything from them, not a cry, a burp, I haven't even seen a single dirty diaper. I would give anything to hold them again. I sat here strapped to a chair with my ankles and wrists tied down receiving bolts of electricity every couple of minutes forced to relive all my worst fears. My parents death, Jason's, hell even mine. Nothing felt real anymore, my eyes were pried open so I couldn't look away. From all around me loud thumps rattled my teeth and I could still hear their voices.. I didn't care for them cause I knew the sound was all in my head but the voices wouldn't stop, the image of Harley Quinn's dead body still remained inside my mind. Every time I closed my eyes I could still see me stabbing her over and over like it was stuck on repeat. "My babies...I'm sorry,"  I wept again.

In my head there I sat on my knees in front of the devil himself, The Joker who stood in front of me with a crooked smile and dressed in a red suit with a black tie. "I'll do it just please make it stop." I said holding out my hand to him.

His smile grew wider, "once you're gone there's no turning back." He told me.

"I'm ready," I said surely. He stretched out his hand to me. As our hands grew closer I could see the madness in his eyes grow, his face disfigured and seem to melt away like hot candle wax. I could feel my realty and empathy slip away, a shock wave of insanity took over making my psychological trauma seem like nothing. For a second pictures of death and demonic creatures flashed by quickly.

A small smirk began to creep onto my mouth, my fingers touched his cold fingers just as my ears caught something that wasn't the low demonic laughter. I strained to concentrate on the sound. "Do you hear that?"

"No its nothing forget it." The Devil said quickly with a eager smile.

The sound grew louder, vibrating my eardrums almost shattering my teeth. "There it is again," I pulled my hand away getting to my feet shakily.

"Get back here!" He demanded as he tried to pull me back into the madness. The sound became clear enough for me to make out.

"Its my name...someone is calling me,"

"Its us (Y/n) see," I heard twisted hitched voice saying my name over and over trying to drown out the original person calling my name but the person who was calling name was louder, overpowering the Jokers voices. The Devil heard it too and became more agitated.

"I need to wake up." I told him as I focused on trying to regain control of my thoughts again. The voice still trying to reach for me.

"NO! HAHA! You'll never leave this place (Y/n), ever!!" He shouted after me. Before I could realize what was happening suddenly there was an explosion from behind me. I heard the glass shatter behind me and  land on the tile floor. The walls, machines and tools the Joker used on me shook, I sat there not moving. In the TV's reflection I caught the reflection of fa group of people racing towards me with flashlights nearly blinding me before splitting up in different directions, a small group of five people raced towards me.

"(Y/n)!....I'm so sorry." It was Jason, I am sure of it. Was it real? Could I trust it? I had nothing to lose anymore. You're alive (Y/n) so move, I forced the muscles in my neck to move even if it was a few inches to see what was happening.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing, it was Jason and Bruce kneeling down in front of me in flesh and blood with grateful expressions. Jason hands moved to my cheeks, gently stroking the J. I flinched then stared back at them as they tried to question me. Everything was muffled and fuzzy. I was too stunned to answer their questions.