Forgotten || y.s.h/p.m.h

Part nineteen

We ended up not being able to meet with NCT Dream, due to SM being busy and a big company. With a big, well-known company, it's hard to decide who gets days off. I guess Miran had told Rocky what happened, because the next day he came over and just hugged me randomly. He also brought Sanha along. Which was fine, I guess. Its not like I hate him. I laid in bed as they were there in attempt to comfort me. Sanha walked over to my bed and crouched down to my level. "I'm going to take you home for the weekend, okay?" He offered. I nodded in response. Going home for a bit would be a nice relief from the stress.

By the time it was Thursday, we began working with our choreographer and pitching ideas for our song's choreo. Eunjae mainly had ideas for dance moves. Eunjae and Yeonjin danced very well. That always seems to be the case, the maknae being able to dance well. I have limited talents compared to the other 4tell members. I dance averagely, my visual quality is average. I merely sing and play piano. My compositions of music is lacking original content. That is the reasoning that I may not produce music for 4tell just yet. I need drastic improvement quickly. I drag down the capability of 4tell.

My insecurities drag myself down.

I was distracted with my insecure thoughts. I lost track of time and practice. We ran over the choreography that was created five times before calling it a day. We then practiced the dance while singing the song that we had recorded. After that we had time to ourselves. Miran and Yeonjin went upstairs while Eunjae stayed in the dance practice room. I moved to the room filled with guitars and two pianos. I sat down at one and started playing Innocent by Joe Hisaishi.

I practiced it before I moved. I admired all of Joe Hisaishi's artworks. They all were beautiful and told stories with only instruments. I would love to be able to do such a thing. I want to capture people's hearts with music. After I stopped playing the beautiful song, Sanha sat next to me on the floor. "That's was a really pretty song." He said to me. I only nodded, not ready yet to muster up words. He tilted his head to the side, like a BEAGLE would. "Why are you acting so sad?" He asked. I shrugged, "I'm not really sad, just disappointed in myself. I want to be better for my group." I said. He nodded his head, "I know just that feeling, but if you want to be better then you should become better. You shouldn't pout about not being better, but trying harder."

He was completely right. "And I don't get to see NCT Dream. Which is highly disappointing." I told him smiling a bit. "Ya! I'm here aren't I? Am I not as good as NCT Dream? As Jisung?!" He yelled at me. "Well NCT Dream wouldn't yell at me, would they?! Stop yelling, aish." I hollered back. "You're right, sorry." He apologized while looking at his feet. I wrapped my arm around him, rubbing his arm and laid my head on the shoulder closest to me. "Why aren't things so easy anymore? Why aren't we as close as we were?" I asked rhetorically. "Because you had a big crush on me and I was a big butthole and dated someone in your group without considering your feelings." Sanha said looking at his feet again. "Shut up before I punch you. It's fine, I forgive you. It's not like you're Jisung." I teased. "Jisung is not as handsome as me." He said. "No, Jisung is more handsome than you." I implied.

He gasped in shock, "You can walk home then."

"That's pretty rude." I told him.

"You're pretty rude."

"Touché. But please let's go home tomorrow." I cried. "Okay! Okay! I already have a van ready anyway." He said. I cheered and hoorayed in excitement. "Oh, by the way, all of Astro is coming." He added. My cheering then stopped. "What?" I asked. "Sorry, Arina. The company said in order to go I had to bring them with me."

"That's okay. They can all meet Kaito!" I cheered. "Kaito, he is a scary guy." He said shivering. "My brother is not scary!" I argued. "He said if I hurt you I'm dead meat! Please don't tell him that I hurt you! I don't want to die! I'm too young!" He cried. I scratched my chin for a moment, "Hmmm, I dunno, I was hurt pretty badly. Maybe I should tell him." Sanha's eyes nearly popped out of the socket and then he dropped to the floor holding my ankle. "Please Arina, please don't kill me off! I apologized! I realize that you would've treated me better! I realized that I shouldn't have hurt you!" He pleaded. I giggled at the sight of him pleading, "Okay, I won't say anything."