I didn't know
you actually lived here
until someone called you out
And then I realised
that the way I let you act
was unhealthy
negative
and damaging
But you've always
lived here
and I just
wilfully ignored you
pretended you weren't there
and that your jokes
didn't hurt
And until now
when someone said
"I don't like the way
you treat
yourself"
I didn't realise
that some things
don't follow the rule of
'fake it 'til you make it'
and this side of me
hiding in the
basement of my mind
among dust and dirt
and made of shadows
and whispers
and hissing laughter
is one of them
And it was easier
when I could laugh
with the jokes I made
about myself
until someone said
"That's not funny"
and then suddenly
The person in the basement
You
Me
Whoever
You were real
You were actually there
and maybe
just maybe
It was far more serious
than I made it out to be
And I just don't think
that there is a lightbulb
that will ever make the basement
bright again
--
Dedicated to my friend Heather, for being the person who said "I don't like the way you talk about yourself" when I made one too many self-deprecating jokes, and making me realise that it in fact hid a vein of belief that maybe I thought my jokes were true. Thank you for standing up for me, against myself.
YOU ARE READING
A Work In Progress
PoesieThis is merely a collection of poetry that I decided to start. It contains works I've completed and will be added to as the year progresses. I wanted to see if I could write a poem a week, which will be especially interesting considering my fluctuat...
