Whys and Exs

Pangalawa

Worst part of break up are the memories. Yung halos lahat ng bagay siya ang maalala mo.

He gave me so much to remember that i always forget to forget him.

He was my first love, my extreme love. He was the best boyfriend, na lahat ng batchmates namin inggit na inggit sa akin..

Where did we go wrong?

Napatigil ako sa pagiisip ng kinatok niya ang bintana sa kotse niya,

"Pasensya na medyo natagalan ako-" he was looking kung ano yung hawak ko, yung picture namin

"A-h. Sorry, nahulog kasi travis. Pasensya na di ko naman pinakaelamanan.." nauutal kong sabi. Why the fuck do i sound like im guilty!

Kinuha niya to sa akin, he was smiling, maliit na mga ngiti but it was genuine.

"Its been what? 3 years since we graduated. I can still remember how loud you cried during my speech" he said jokingly.

"Huy hindi naman malakas yun."

He laughed. God, i missed those laugh.
He smiled a little, i kept my mouth shut.

"Kain ka na."

Sumunod nalang ako, i dont want another conversation.. It makes me miss him more.

"Sila Auntie Freya, kamusta na sila?" Bigla niyang tanong

"Okay lang naman, nasa abroad sila ni papa ngayon kasama si Sari." Tumango tango lang siya.

"Sila Tita Jean at Tito Fred, kamusta sila?"

"Puro business as usual. Haha." I smiled, noon lagi kinukwento ni Trav kung gaano kabusy ang magulang niya. Kaya siya naging malapit sa magulang ko, kasi my family treated him as a part of our family.

He continued driving, walang nagsasalita. And I think it was a good thing nadin, I mean, paano mo nga ba papakitunguan ang ex sa buhay mo dba?

"They miss you, Ellie..." he said without looking at me.

Napatingin ako sa kanya, he seemed so mature, but he's still handsome. Yung parang ang daming bago sa kanya pero parang siya padin si Travis na nakilala ko, pero hindi ko sigurado yung siya padin yung travis na minahal ko.

He stopped the car, i saw our house.

Binalik ko yung tingin ko sa kanya, i was about to say thank you

"Ellie, can i hug you?"

I nodded, hindi ko alam bakit. Galit ako dapat. Pero tangina, si travis yun eh.

He pulled me closer, yung yakap na para bang sabik na sabik, miss na miss.. I can feel the longing in his hug. It was tight and warm.

I suddenly felt home in his arms.

I hear his sobbs. "Miss na miss na kita, Ellie. Kahit wala akong karapatang mamiss ka, miss na miss padin kita. Im sorry i wasnt the right guy for you that time."

Kumalas ako sa pagkakayap sa kanya, i saw his angelic face..

He was just looking at me intently while tears flowing in his face..

"Minememorya ko lang yung buong mukha mo, alam ko pagkatapos nito, tapos na ang cease fire. Masaya ako, Ellie. Nakasama kita ulit. Gusto kong maalala to ulit, pwede ngumiti ka? Kasi yang ang gusto kong maalala."

I tried to smile but tnraydor ako ng luha ko. Fuck, hindi ako okay. Hindi padin ako okay.