The Temptations of Chemistry

Chapter Twenty Five - Boomerang

Chapter Twenty Five - Boomerang

Carson

I knew it before I opened my eyes. The blankets beneath me were cold along with the air in the room, the warm presence in my heart wasn't there and I couldn't feel her delicate body laying next to mine. Her soft breathing in my ear was non-existent, her long blonde hair that flowed on to the pillow case wasn't reaching the side of my face. She was gone. 

When I did open my eyes, I was hoping to see her anyway. I was hoping I was worrying or jumping to conclusions but I didn't want to get my hopes up. Which is good because just like I had known all along, she wasn't there. 

She was never here, not fully. I would never get to slip past the outer layer of Jessalyn Hart completely. There would always be some kind of barrier, whether it be around her mind, her eyes or her heart. It was always there. 

Though, after last night, I felt so much closer to her. It felt like I had a better understanding of the person she had become the last few years. I understood why she is the way she is now, and I can only imagine what other obstacles she's had to face. 

I sighed heavily. I knew that after what she'd told me last night that she wouldn't be there when I woke up, she let me in just ever so slightly and I knew that would send her running like the wind. I almost predicted before I fell asleep last night as she lay next to me that the bed would be cold when I woke, but yet I still felt disappointed when I opened my eyes and they didn't immediately link with two perfect blue ones. I tossed back the blanket that I had got under during the night with a grunt and stomped out of the bed.

There was slight anger that was pulsing through my veins, I wanted to be angry, to drive my fist straight through the first wall in sight, to grab a hold of my hair in fistfuls and growl out. That would be so typical of me. I couldn't bring myself to do that though because half of this was my fault. She'd continually told me that she was no good for me, to stay away, but I didn't. I couldn't. Everything was just making me emotionally drained, I couldn't come up with just one word that described how I was feeling. 

God, I couldn't even think of a million different ways to describe it, all I know that I felt sick to my stomach. It felt like my world was tipped upside down. I had this feeling that my bed wasn't the only thing she was running from. It's hard to tell with her, but the worst case scenario came to mind..

I might not ever see her again.

She was like a song by the Barenaked ladies, she doesn't throw like other girls, she follows through. But, I will always come right back because whether or not she meant to let me go, I would always be her boomerang. I was always coming back to her.

The lyrics ran through my mind, and it got me thinking.

After I slouched around for a minute or two, trying to gather some thoughts, I shot straight for the clock and I realized that it was early. Early like five am early. The corner of my mouth turned up and thought to myself, I still have time. 

I still had time to find her, to stop her or just time to talk to her because I was never letting her go and when she let go of me, I was always coming back. I was her boomerang.  

My feet scurried rapidly through the house as I put on a clean shirt. I grabbed my keys and I took off out the door. Yesterdays socks were still on my feet, twisted beneath my shoes from sleeping. My hair was a wild mess, standing up everywhere but I especially didn't care about that because I could tell Jessalyn liked it, the way she always looked at it with her eyes wide and just a hint of a smile, she toyed with its ends when we kissed and when we hugged. I was even still in the same jeans I wore last night, and there was a stain from where I dropped ketchup on them at the race track. I didn't comb my hair or put on deodorant, I even skipped the tooth brush and just swished some mouth wash around.