Raped by my stepfather

The begining

I have had to grow up fast, my childhood was lost at the age of 12 when my stepdad raped me.
                   Back 8 years

All I can feel is darkness so much darkness and loneliness that I sometimes forget how it is to be happy.As a child I was never the popular one, never the loud outgoing one. I was always the quiet and shy one.I didn't have lots of friends as other did.I was tried of feeling sad ,Im tried of feel alone and helpless. I would given anything to feel again and as I lived in a small community I was able to go off and play by myself at the park and on the hills behind it.Some how I lived on a small island & Always felt safe.When it all started was at home, when my father died after I was 5 years
old I couldn't stop crying but some how my mother didn't cry at all.It was like my dad was invisible to her , she didn't even share a tear for him.At the time I felt like she didn't care that he provide us to a home.