My Boss

Chapter 15

As I got into his office, I met him standing beside his window, with one of his hands on his head and his back facing me. "Mr. Alex?" I said as he turned around and immediately I knew he was very nervous to speak to me. We both didn't say anything to each other for some seconds until he came rushing towards me and going on his knees to apologize for the previous night. I opened my mouth in shock and told him to stand up.

"I'm very sorry Siphiwe" Alex said as he stood up.

"I know we didn't talk about it but I just thought you would......You know what? It's fine. It was a misunderstanding."

"Siphiwe, I hope I haven't blown my chances with you." Immediately he said that, the phone on his desk rang and for a moment, he ignored it because he was still waiting for an answer but as the phone kept ringing, he went to answer the call. I stood there still, trying to not look at him or his eyes even though I could feel him staring at me. Honestly, I was in a confused state. I just didn't know what I wanted with him anymore. I wasn't trying to judge him based on what happened but I felt drawn away from him after that incident. He finally got off the call and I came up with an excuse just so that I could leave his office. He didn't say anything to me other than nod his head in disappointment. I got back to my desk thinking that I should have said something. I tried to push the thoughts off my mind and focus on work but they crept back, leaving me deep in thoughts. A voice would say, 'I would have to look for a new job if Alex and I were to be in a relationship' while another would say 'it doesn't matter' or 'it was just a misunderstanding'. I manage to fight the thoughts off my mind and get things done before it was time for me to leave work. The past few days, I had been dropped off at home after work by Alex but I saw myself taking the bus that day so I didn't bother waiting for him or anyone. I was working to the bus stop when I heard a horn beside me. I closed my eyes and hoped it wasn't Alex because I didn't want to be in another awkward situation with him. As I turned around and gazed at the car, I found out that it was Sebastien. I sighed in relief and then he told me to enter so he could drop me off.

During my ride with Sebastien, we talked about many things. We weren't close friends or best friends but I could now call him a friend even though we both had a past. He finally dropped me off at my apartment before waving him off. For a moment, I felt normal but as soon as I stepped into my apartment, the memories of the previous night with Alex came rushing into my mind. I could only try to get some sleep after a hot bath.

The next day, work was even more awkward and it was back to how it used to be before I started going on dates with Alex. He kept a very straight face whenever I saw him and only mentioned work when I had to drop off a file or message with him. I started to feel bad but I thought I was doing myself a favor. I just wanted to think and clear a lot of things going on in my mind. For some reasons, I had a lot of work to do with Sebastien that week but whenever I was with him, we happened to encounter Alex who would look at us with very disappointing eyes. We never spoke about 'us' ever since that day in his office. Deep down, I wanted to run to him and tell him that I missed him but I beat myself into thinking that would be the most stupid thing to do.

Two weeks went by and I couldn't take it anymore. I was never looking forward to work especially days I had to work more with him. I thought going to work was a punishment and so sometimes I took a sick leave or called in sick or came up with an excuse. I was losing money but I just wanted to fix my emotions because I was no longer focused on any other thing except Alex. One Thursday night, things changed. I had been preparing to go home when Alex came out of his office with his suitcase. I didn't want to look at him even though I watched him with a side eye. I saw him approaching me and my heart could not stop beating like it was about to jump out of my chest. He finally got to where I was but passed by me and went to Emily's desk, a colleague's. He dropped off a file and passed by me again to the elevator. I was done packing my things but I didn't want to join him in the elevator so I waited until he left. I finally got into the elevator and closed it to go to the first floor when suddenly it stopped at the third floor (I was initially on the sixth floor). Alex who I thought would have left the building came into the elevator from the third floor with just me inside.