Sometimes, I wonder why I am still alive because right now, I don't care if I'll die. Why? I'm badly hurt, depressed, broken and lost. Look at my wrists, they will tell you my story. You can see scars on my physical body and soul. I'm losing the ones I loved, I get used seeing people walk away from me. I'm stuck in my past. I can't get out. I feel I'm a huge failure and everything that I will do will be a mistake. I feel that I don't have a place in this world. I'm just a waste of space. I don't want to be here anymore, I just want to disappear.
Sometimes, I wonder why did you give me this life if you will just take everything away from me. From the things that make me feel happy, to the people that I love. Answer me, do you have anything left for me? Because, as I can see, I'm completely surrounded by loneliness. I'm trapped within the walls of fear and darkness. And it slowly consumes me. I feel so far away from you, from your grace. There are days, I can't breathe. My chest hurts so much, I feel like I'm dying inside of my body. I'm tired. I'm so unbearably tired of everything and everyone. I'm tired of being in pain every day. I'm tired of being left behind. All I want is to let sleep take over me. The world is crumbling in front of me and I'm going to shatter any moment from now. And it makes me feel that my existence is just an option and my mind tells me that I need to jump into the dark abyss. To feel nothing, to end the misery. I'm searching for the open door, please set me free. I'm sorry, I can't fight anymore.
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