I stopped writing to give myself a time to heal and now few months has passed, after those long nights that I cant sleep unless I drown myself in tears, finally I am already healed.
I already got back the pen I used to write my own stories, the same exact pen you took away from me.
Yet why am I here back to writing? It is because once more I am broken all again.
Silent and never ending tears has crawled down to my cheeks until my pillow has drenched and Ive got no choice but to stand up from bed and went straight to my desk.
I still got the strength to stand even if all I am feeling is hollowness inside.
Then the realization hit me, last night you asked me the most unexpected question I never thought you would ask me and that is if I would go back in your arms and take you back without hesitations, without any doubt.
And I was shocked hearing my own voice when I confessed that if only I could turn back time I will, even if there is no assurance that you wont give up on me again.
I was once healed, at least for the mean time.
That night I assumed that you will beg me to come back to you.
But no my assumptions have gone wrong you were there to bid goodbye and leave after I realized that I should not have let you go.
You did leave me after that.
As of now my hands were trembling as I got hold of the pen you left in my desk the night before, as a sign of closure and that you are not to return again.
Tears fell on my journal and it made the ink of my pen stain the page on it where I am starting to write my draft.
I am left without a choice but to continue writing.
As if writing is the only way to let all my inhibitions out.
Maybe writing is one way of helping myself to at least recover a bit and put the broken pieces of my heart together once more.
Even deep down, I know that my broken heart will never be the same again like it was before and my wound will not be gone, though its healed, it will still leave a scar, like the memory of how fast you changed your mind as you mess with mine and leave me for the nth time around.
