Violet
“Is everything alright, Miss Smith?”
I blink myself out of my trance and focus on the old man before me. The way he holds onto his clipboard makes me more nervous than I already am, but I know I can’t leave. Not without what I came to get.
I gulp a little. “F-Fine. Sorry, I’m just a little panicky.”
“It’s natural to be nervous. I get them all, don’t worry. I assure you you’ll do great.”
I take a deep breath. “Right.”
The man shuffles his papers around and puts on his glasses before pointing towards the door that leads outside. Somewhere I can’t bring myself to go. “Shall we?”
I’m never going to be ready for this, but I need to do it. I can’t keep living like this anymore. Doing this will make things easier, it’ll make me more free. If I’m able to escape, then maybe I will. I can’t back out. I need to face my fears, face them all. I need to do this for myself. I need to start doing things for myself.
I follow the instructor outside and he walks me to one of the cars, telling me to hop in. The car’s too clean, almost sterile, and it freaks me out even more. It doesn’t provide any warmth, any feeling. You just get in, drive, then get out.
“Now, you passed your learners a while ago,” the man tells me, refreshing my memory. “How come you’re only trying for your license now?”
Passing my learners was easy, that was just a quiz. I’m good at quizzes. All I had to do was read, study, and take a written test about driving. I passed that easily. But it was the next part that was harder, this part. Because this is the physical. This is the part where you, yourself, have to physically drive. You have to go around corners, park, speed up, turn, slow down, all whilst some strange man judges you.
“I, uh, just didn’t need it at the time,” I tell him.
“Very well. Are you ready to begin?”
No. I’m not, not at all. But I nod.
“Alright.” The man does more shuffling and I feel his eyes on me.
I grip the steering wheel and take several deep breaths. I am seriously freaking out. But I can’t do this, I told myself I wouldn’t freak myself out. That just makes it worse. Instead I focus on my breathing, slowing it down. I look ahead at the set up road with cones everywhere and fill my head with positive affirmations, inspirational quotes and speeches. I can do this, and I will. Because it’s good to be scared, because that means I’m feeling something. And fear is just an emotion, and emotions shouldn’t be responsible for actions.
I close my eyes for a second and I can almost feel him beside me, holding my hand, telling me he believes in me. I don’t want to be scared anymore. I want to do things, and know that I can do them, and I want to live and not be so afraid of the outcomes. It’s time to look after myself. I feel like that’s what’s most important right now.
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When Worlds Collide - A Zayn Malik Fanfic
Fanfiction"There's no such thing as soul mates. I mean just because someone is perfect for you doesn't mean you're meant to be with them. The thing about love is that it's unexpected - the best kind anyway."
