Counting Shadows [complete]

Chapter 19

The air in the shopping centre was stale despite the fact that in some parts you could catch glimpses of the open sky. It was full of people, some running to grab a quick lunch somewhere or have a lunch as a treat, mums with kids enjoying some "quality" time with their friends, people shopping. The main shopping street imitated a high street but it felt sterile. There was no life, all activity inside the centre felt futile. Come to buy what you do or don't need and leave.

I took a fresh breath of air where there was an open air. Some argued it was annoying, you could get actually rain inside of a shopping centre, but I felt it was some grounding point in the concrete madness. I guess I would have welcomed even a potted tree now and there. Though their absence, and absence of any life there for that matter was exactly the reason why we were meeting there and not next to the oak.

Jake was already waiting in front of Next. I saw him looking at the shop window, his back towards me. I realised it was the first time I was really observing him with interest. I saw a tall well-built guy with brown hair. He had a presence around him, probably that's what Jonathan was half-jokingly referring to as a ladies touch. How old was he really? The late twenties or early thirties? I couldn't tell. He was not wearing a coat, just a woolly brown scarf that was more a fashion statement. How was it possible he was not cold? His washed out blue T-shirt hugged his broad shoulders as if we were in the middle of the summer. Well, dressed in the T-shirt and jeans he looked fit. I was grateful that he didn't fall for the English men's obsession with tight jeans, though he would have been probably able to pull it off. I hugged my coat safely around me. Even if he didn't feel the cold, I did. Then, as if he could see me, he turned.

I was glad we met here, where there were no witnesses. At least not the ones that mattered. He looked serious as I approached him. I took a deep breath.

"Hi," I said, trying to stay in charge of the situation.

"Hi," he answered. I couldn't tell if he was happy to see me. I stopped maybe half a meter from him. This was awkward. I was expecting it to be awkward but maybe not that much. Well, actually I felt a bit out of my depth. I was not sure what I expected. Truth be told, I didn't expect Jake to remember anything that happened on Friday. At least nothing about the kiss or the dance and not much about him talking with Mike. I had no clue what he remembered and that was confusing.

I looked into his deep green eyes and smiled. Would flirting work? Well, it sort of did on Friday, but then, I would not say that was really flirting. The air around us felt a bit colder. Dead man eyes, again. Jake was confusing. He would radiate so much energy around him it could keep a girl warm throughout the whole winter. Then you would look into his eyes and see death and suddenly the world would become one sad cold place. Life and death don't really mix. Either you are alive or dead. That's it. He looked confused too.

"Are we going to talk or will you just keep staring at me?" He said after a while. His voice woke me up from my thoughts. I really needed to be a bit more focused. Maybe it was good I switched to accounting, clearly, I was no good at this witchy stuff.

"Yeah, sure. Should we grab a coffee first?" I suggested out of habit as if we were out for a date and not what I thought was a more of a business meeting of sorts. Caffeine can brighten up the darkest day and I hoped it would work its magic today too. He just shrugged shoulders.

And so we walked across the fake street to Starbucks. It was busy as always on Sunday or any day for the matter, but it didn't really matter. We were quietly queuing, waiting for our turn. Not talking to each other, we managed to ignore the other one. Standing next to each other, our hands were almost touching. It was not going how I expected it to be. It felt pathetic really.