Counting Shadows [complete]

Chapter 25

The hate, the desperation, the sadness, the death, the love, the pain. All the emotions hit me in the same moment I almost lost breath. But then I focused on my breathing. I felt the warmth radiating from the flowers and I let it slowly melt the pain, all the emotions. I let it slow down the moment and suddenly the time stopped.

"He is here...." The whisper was full of anger and hate.

"Where is Annie buried?" I asked. Was she here? No answer. I needed to know. I needed to know where the girl was buried.

"Is that why you woke me up? Is that why you care?" The whisper was coming from all sides, circling me like a snake. I felt shivers running down my spine.

I needed to know.

"Yes, you need to know." The whisper laughed. And then I couldn't breathe anymore.

I could see them. The young boy going after my girl. How he flatters her. He will break her heart. That's what he does every time. Uses them and then he throws them away. Like the maid. Where else would the vicar's daughter get her dowry? And others and others. But not my girl. She is too good for the likes of him.

No surprise there. So Jonathan was a bit of a womaniser. Well, all the girls were after him anyway, I could see it through her eyes. So, let's move on, where is she buried.

"He left me." The girl on the floor was crying. "Left me, left me, left me." She wouldn't let me hug her. She couldn't be soothed.

"Drink this." I handed her a mug. She smelled it.

"No, I am not letting you do that." She threw the mug against the wall and its content now spread on it. It would have stained the wall if it wasn't so dirty.

"Don't be stupid. You said it yourself. He left you. Leave him too. Be free." But I knew it was too late. She decided.

Why was she showing me this? Crying girl on the floor, clutching to some flowers or whatever, she rocked like a madwoman. But where was she buried? I was asking her a question, but not getting any answers, just set of images. I saw only what she wanted me to see.

There was so much blood. She looked like an angel, white on the bed. So pale, so cold. There was still sweat on her face, but it was too late. She decided to die before I could have done anything.

I scooped up my child and took her out of the house. I walked up the hill. You could see the valley from there. And then I dug her a grave. I didn't want to leave her near those who despised her. I was empty, broken.

I left her there. I looked around carefully, using her eyes to see what she would have seen. Where were we? I was looking around for anything familiar. I hoped the countryside didn't change too much over the years. It did look somehow familiar. Then I realised we had to be at the edge of modern Downley. Of course, today I would see the Hughenden Manor. It hasn't been built then. I smiled. I started to open my eyes, trying to wake up.

Then she turned towards me. She saw me.

"You..."

How could she see me? I wasn't then, I couldn't be in the past. It shouldn't have been possible. I was using her eyes, there was no way how she could feel me around. Different times should not just fuse, or at least that's what I thought. Bones can't think, they just remember.

"Oh, I see you well. This is my time. Of course I can think. You are so stupid."

She was coming closer. I was trying to move, but I felt as if I was glued to the ground. She was right, this wasn't my time, it was hers. In this time I hadn't existed. I was as good as dead.

"Do you do it because of him, dovey eyes? Do you think you are a strong witch? Let me show you who he really is."

What was she talking about? Was she talking to me? Maybe I was lucky and she was talking to someone else. Maybe... but then she touched me. She touched my hand and I disappeared. Literally.

It's so dark. The land is moving. The wet will one day kill me. It rains and rains. It is still quite some walk home, but who cares. Nothing is waiting for me there. Who cares if I just died by the side of the road?

"Hey, I need to talk to you!"

The voice from hell. Jonathan. Wasn't he somewhere else? Why is he here? He is just standing right in front of me. Just like that.

"I need to talk to you. Where is Annie?"

"I don't need to talk to you. You are dead to me. Did you come to laugh into my face? Or see if Annie cried out her eyes? Well, I don't care why you came, but get out of my way."

He moves towards me. He grabs my hand - it hurts. His touch is cold. But then it's young master Jonathan with no heart, maybe he is made out of ice and cold and wind and mist.

"I will repeat it once more. WHERE IS ANNIE?" His eyes are not alive. He is really like a devil. That's not possible, it must be the gin. I should drink less. Or drink at home. The world would spin less. But what is the point? I want the world to spin, to rock me to my grave.

"She is not here."

"Tell me, where she is."

"No. You have no right. You just left her all alone." I would not lose her again.

"I am back now. Where is she?" His eyes...

That was enough. I didn't want to be there. I felt sorry for her loss, for the drunk woman who lost everything she cared about. At that moment I understood why she hated him so much. How come she couldn't tell? It was so obvious Jonathan was a vampire. And I didn't like his look.

If you don't like his look, wait for what comes next...

Vampire. Devil.

"Let me go, young master. She is gone."

"That's not true. You are lying." He sounds like a madman. Even the gin can not warm my blood.

"Please, let go. You are hurting me." He doesn't listen to me.

"Where is she?"

"She is dead." He looks shocked. That's not the answer he wanted.

"No, you are lying." His fingers are digging into my arm. I can see his fangs.

"You killed her. Now let her rest in peace. Let me go, there is nothing more I have to tell you." I try to free myself, but it is hopeless. His fingers dig more, I swear I can feel my bone snap. He reaches for my throat.

"Where..." I can't breathe. No time for pain, but I can feel the blood leaving my body.

The pain was killing me. It was her pain and I wanted to let go but I couldn't. I felt the alcohol circulating my veins, the anger and the dying. I felt Jonathan sucking my life. I wanted to break free but I was not able to. Did she let me go? How come she could just decide she was holding me?

My knees sank into the ground. I was rooting. I heard a scream. Someone was dying around and his soul was leaving the body. And then there was nothing.

st 6P