Roller Coaster Called Life // phan

2012 and other bad stuff.

Dan's POV

I can't sleep. I am too filled with emotion. I am getting married to Phil, we just came out to our viewers and I'm having a lowkey existential crisis. I roll over on the bed into Phil's arms but it isn't helping. I decide to get up and go for a cup of tea and browse through comments. I walk into the kitchen in a daze but am woken up completely at the sight of my laptop. That's weird. Why was it turned on? I told Phil not to look through comments last night after the live show because we didn't have time for drama. He must have not listened to me.

-

Phil's POV

I feel a shuffle in the bed so quickly wake up as I see Dan leaving my room. He must have not been able to sleep. I get up slowly to see what's going on. As I leave the room I see a bright laptop screen lit at the end of the hallway. I see a figure sitting at the table in front of the screen and I run to shut the laptop, but I was too late. Dan was sitting at the laptop with tears streaming down his face, and this time they weren't happy tears, I could tell by his slumped position over the laptop. As I close the laptop he looks straight at me with bloodshot eyes.

"How long have you been sitting here reading comments Dan?" I ask with comfort.

"Long enough." He tells me emotionless. I feel horrible seeing him like this. I pull him into an embrace and tell him it's going to be okay. We will get through it together, just like we had said not that long ago. But I can feel the dark and cold emotions inside him. He pushes me off of him.

"It's not okay! I thought that our viewers would be happy for us! Maybe it was a mistake, maybe they weren't ready! Look we already have so many dislikes. The comments are distasteful, I didn't know that these were the people that watched our videos. Such horrible people." Dan yells with pain. I don't know what to say. I saw all these comments before I went to bed but I thought nothing of them. We have always had haters, why is it different this time Dan? He must have read my mind because then he answers,

"Phil it's different this time because we finally let them in on our private lives and now they have decided to completely do the opposite. First they wanted us together but we weren't ready for that, and now they are saying we are faggots for coming out? I just don't understand. I love you Phil but this is just too much for me. I'm going to bed, by myself."

I should feel hurt, I should feel heartbroken but I don't. I am going to let Dan have his space, he is stressed with everything that has happened lately and I don't blame him. Things should blow over I the morning like they usually do, yet I still have this feeling of doubt that this time is different. I shake it off and I tuck myself back into bed.

-

Dan's POV

As I try and sleep for the second time tonight I try and think of happy thoughts, of how Phil and I met, of how we are getting married. But I can never have happy dreams when I'm in this state of mind. I am whisked away into the world of 2012.

~

"Just get married already!"

"PHAN IS REAL!!!"

"You guys are definitely not JUST platonic."

Ugh. Not again. I am really starting to get annoyed with all of our viewers that ship us together. I will never admit my feelings for Phil, it just wouldn't be right. Or would it? He probably doesn't even feel the same way anyway. All of a sudden I am whipped away from my twitter profile as a call comes in on my mobile. Zoe Sugg!

"Hey Dan! I'm kind of bored right now and was wondering if you wanted to come out for a tea with me? Phil can come too if he wants."

"I'm the first person you call when your bored? Oh I'm honoured!"