Lovely Ever After

Kabanata 115

Kabanata 115

While Liham was treating my wound, hindi ko maiwasang tumitig sa kanya. He looked calm now, I must be sucking at keeping him at bay, kasalanan ko rin naman kung bakit niya nagawa iyon. Alam ko na nga na medyo unstable pa siya ngayon tapos ganoon ang ginawa ko.

I can't blame him, not like this. Not when he is in this condition. Liham needs me more than ever, he needs me and his twins. Kami lang ang makakapagpakalma sa kanya. I don't want him to lose himself. Not on my watch. Not when I am looking at him. He will be back, the old Liham will be back. I promise.

"Masakit pa ba?" He was almost out of breath when he asked, his voice was husky.

Umiling ako. "I'm fine already."

"Kung mayroon lang sana si Racadio ay pina-stitch ko iyang sugat para mas mabilis humilom." Bumuntong-hininga si Liham, "I unconsciously hurt you again."

"It's not your fault, Liham." I assured, "it's my fault to begin with, alam ko na ngang may hawak akong bubog tapos kinuyom ko pa nang mahigpit ang aking kamao. I'm all to blame, so don't blame yourself."

"And the kids, they saw me hurting you."

"No. They didn't. Okay? And you didn't hurt me..." not emotionally.

"I think I'm becoming crazy." Mahinang saad niya, "hindi mo pa nakakalimutan ang sinabi ko sa iyo noon, right? Don't hesitate to kill me when I start to lose myself. Don't."

Natigilan ako dahil sa kanyang sinabi.

"I don't wanna live just to hurt the ones I love."

Tila napiga ang aking puso dahil sa kanyang aniya, yumuko ako, I can't look at him in the eyes, kahit pa man itago ko ang katotohanan sa kanya, alam ko na alam niya ang nangyayari sa kanya, it is his body after all. He knows himself too well.

"I don't wanna live a life without Liham Silician." Sagot ko naman sa kanya.

"It's not a matter of wanting, Yomi. It is all about what you need to do and you need to save yourself and the twins when the time comes, I know I'm losing myself, I know every second that I'm starting to lose memories and everything so precious, I want you to remember me as the man you've always loved, not the man I became."

"What have you become, Liham? Tell me." Tinignan ko na siya sa kanyang mata, this time, I saw warmth and sadness, there was no glowing red, it was Liham Silician in front of me. Iyon ang mahalaga.

"Crazy, bastard, sadist, someone who've hurt you, someone who can't be trusted anymore, unstable... all that sorts."

Sinampal ko siya dahilan upang matigil siya, dahil iyon ay suminghap ako, I did not mean to slap him! Nadala lang siguro ako dahil sa galit, halata ring hindi siya makapaniwala sa aking ginawa, but this time, he was still himself, hindi siya nagalit. He was not angered. He was still the same.

"Liham, are you hearing yourself?! Tell me, hindi ba ikaw ang lalaki na nagligtas sa akin sa barko noon? The man who is willing to take the bomb for me! You have saved me countless of times, you fucker! Tapos ito ang sasabihin mo? How low do you think of yourself? You're more than that, Liham! Stop thinking you're less than what you are!"

Hindi siya umimik, ramdam ko ang paghapdi ng palad ko na may sugat, sana iyong isang palad ko na lang ang sinampal ko sa kanya, nagulat ako nang hilain ako ni Liham, bigla niyang sinuksok ang mukha niya sa dibdib ko, suminghap naman ako.

Then he started to sob. My jaw dropped.

"Kaya mahal na mahal kita..." He said in his rough voice.

I had second thoughts whether to caress his back or not, but I ended up doing it. Ramdam ko ang pagpatak ng luha niya sa aking damit, the heat of his tears was soaking me, but I never payed attention to it. All that matters is that Liham knows he is not alone on this, that he has me, that he has our twins, that he has his mafia, he has everything he will ever need.

All that he needs right now to is to believe in himself. That's the most significant thing ever.

Nagulat ako nang bigla niya akong itulak, at that moment, I saw the glowing red in his eyes, tila kumirot ang ulo ni Liham, both his hands went on the side of his forehead, he screamed as if he was in pain.

"Liham?"

Tumingin siya sa akin, I gasped. I knew it was not Liham anymore. The glowing red seems to dominate his eyes now, he looked like a monster, someone who is far different from Liham, he gave me the coldest look that made me shiver, that made me want to hide, but I know somewhere, Liham is there, trapped, waiting to be freed.

"Liham?"

Siningkitan niya ako ng mata, nagulat ako nang bigla na lang siyang sumugod at sakalin ako, I gasped for air, ramdam ko ang pagbilis ng tibok ng aking puso, I gathered all my courage and kicked him on his tummy, napaurong naman siya dahil dito, but he did not show any signs of pain. Mabilis akong lumabas sa silid at sinara ang pinto, I locked it.

Nakita ko naman sa corridor ang aming kambal, "mommy, what's happening?" They look confused.

Mabilis akong pumunta sa kanila, "go hide in your room, lock the door, okay? Don't open it unless I say so, do you understand?" Mabilis na tanong ko sa dalawa.

"Mommy, I don't understand." Lumabi si Levitrei.

"Just listen to mommy, okay?"

Tumango ang dalawa. Biglang kumalabog ang pinto, it must be Liham, trying to break the door to be set free.

"Mommy, is that daddy?" Tanong ni Levitrei.

Lumunok ako, I kissed him on his forehead, "yes, we are playing a game, okay? And you two are not a part of it, so go to your bed, lock the door, and hide. Don't come out unless I say so, okay?"

"Mommy, I'm scared." Levitrish sounded breathless, mas lalong lumakas ang kalabog ng pinto kung saan ko kinulong si Liham.

"Mommy will find a way, okay? Go!"

"Mommy, be safe..."

Even though they were confused, they held each other's hands and went to their room, locking it in the process. Be safe. They know. My twin knows. Yet they pretended not to. I must have underestimated them, thinking they were still kids, excluding them in the process.

"Fucking open the door, woman!" Boses ni Liham, suminghap ako. That voice was not Liham's, it sounded robotic. It's not Liham.

Tumungo ako sa aming kwarto, I rummaged through my things, trying to search for the device that controls him. Where is it?!

"You locked me."

Napatingin ako sa pintuan, it was Liham, halata ang galit sa kanyang mukha.

"Liham, please, stay back..."

"Nobody orders me!" Sigaw niya.

Nanginig ang aking mga kamay, nang maalala ko na sa drawer ko nilagay ang device ay tumungo ako roon at agad na binuksan, I saw the device.

Akmang kukunin ko iyon nang hablutin ni Liham ang aking buhok, "what is that?!"

"Liham, please, bitawan mo ako..."

Mas lalong humigpit ang hawak niya sa aking buhok, tumingin ako sa kanyang mata, the glowing red was flickering on and off. When it flickers off, he loosens his grip on my hair and when it goes back, the grip becomes harder.

It seems like he was having an internal battle.

I took the moment when he loosened his grip to grab the device, agad kong pinindot ang order button.

"Liham?"

Tumingin siya sa akin, he looked like a monster about to kill. Nagulat ako nang naglakad siya palapit, he grabbed me on my neck and strangled me, nabitawan ko ang device kasabay ng pagkawala ko ng pag-asa.

The device doesn't work anymore, it doesn't control him anymore...