What were we built for, could someone tell me please?

I miss you

I miss you, Ray.

Everything about you.

I never ever stopped loving you, y'know? I never hesitated, not for even a second. I always knew I loved you.

I miss you more and more every day.

I miss your smile and your giggles. I miss the silly stories and songs you wrote, in that notebook you literally always carried around, it never seemed to be full just yet.

I miss holding your hand, holding /you/.

The way you blushed and played with your hands when you got nervous, picking at these fingers that were so strong and flexible from playing literally any instrument anyone gave you.

I miss you, Ray.

I even miss the silly things, like your love for pizza, or how fucking good you are at Mario Kart. How you always got cold when you got tired, yet your hands were always warm.

How your face lit up when you saw me. Shit, your love for cuddles. Probably one of the things I loved the most about you. Sharing a bed with you is probably what happiness felt like to me.

I miss how relaxed and calm you got when I played with your hair.

The tiny noises you made in your sleep, and your cute rosy cheeks when you woke up.

I miss you, Ray.

How you'd do literally anything to make others happy. You were always the first one to ask if people needed help. You'd never leave me, or anyone else for that matter, behind.

You'd do literally anything for me. Cause you loved me. And you knew that I love you too.

If only you realized how perfect you are. You're more than perfect, Ray. I always knew you'd look cute in a skirt or a dress, but /damn/, my boy. You rocked them.

I miss seeing you. Your muscly chest and your cute belly and thighs. Your stubble- I loved seeing it. Feeling it.

You looked so goddamn hot with your glasses on, baby. And even though you were awfully tall, you were a literal child.

One of your favorite pastimes was talking about our future together, wasn't it? I sure loved doing it with you, when we were younger.

God, I can still remember that very first time you told me you were questioning. I hope you knew that even if you didn't identify as male, I'd still be head over heels in love with you.

I never knew my favorite words, the ones I'd always remember, would be "I love you" and "I will". I wish I could hear you say them all over again.

You told me not to let you go. I didn't want to let you go.

But I had to.

You're gone, and I wouldn't hesitate a second to come after you. If only dead wouldn't bring sadness to one's loved ones.

It just proved my point from earlier. You'd do anything for literally anyone.

Do you even realize that you saved a man's life? They were about to be attacked- but you intervened when you saw the attacker had a knife.

I really wish you hadn't, Ray.

I never truly understood how a drunk person can ruin so many lives at once. I still haven't forgiven the man. I still haven't forgiven myself, either. For letting you go.

Because of him, you're gone. And I miss you.

I miss you, Ray.