Why so quiet ?

Chapter 13

POV Spencer

I took everything i could from June's apartment and i was making my way back to mine. When i arrived i saw that the light was off and i wondered why. I got inside and saw June asleep on the sofa. I slowly dropped the bags and came closer to her. When i sat she woke up.
"Hi." She told me still asleep.
"Hi. Are you tired ? You should go to sleep in the bed not on the sofa. It's not comfortable." I told her.
"I'm fine. Don't worry."
"I took things i thought you would need."
"Thank you. I'm sure you did well. Did you found my underwear ?" She asked me.
I instantly felt myself turning red.
"Euh yeah i did. I hope you don't mind." I was so embarrassed.
"You would not let me live naked in you apartment ? Right ?"
"Euh... no no."
She looked at me smiling. I knew she was making fun of me. But it wasn't in a bad way.
"I looked at your books. They're interesting."
I was a bit scared that she saw Maeve's book. I didn't tell her about this part of my life and i didn't want it to stop something to happen between us. June's was different and i saved her. She survived.
"I don't know why i keep that many books. I've already read all of them many times."
"It's absolutely normal. It's books you can't throw them away when you have them. I still have school books so i understand how you feel." She said putting her hand on my knee.
She touched me again. Each time she did that it made me feel better. I felt better but i was also happy that she wasn't that disgusted by physical contact.

After that we ate a pizza and i discovered that she didn't really like pizza. I would certainly keep that in mind.
"I'd like to take a shower." She murmured.
"Yeah you can go." I replied not thinking. "Oh maybe you need me ? Tell me what you need." I said getting closer to her. I knelt in front of her to be at the same eyes level as her.
She looked at me.
"I don't know if i'll be able to get in alone. But i don't want you to see me. You know..." she said looking away from me. I could feel her fear.
"I know. I promise i will try to respect your intimacy and i'll do everything for you to be comfortable." I told her trying to catch her eyes in mine again.
We went in my room and i took the bags with me. She opened it searching for everything she needed. I told her that i'll put her clothes with mine. She just nodded. I knew she was scared about what was gonna happen. But i also knew that even a unknown woman could not do it. I could not think about an other person's hands on her without thinking back to the warehouse and what i saw on the videos.
"Spencer ?"
"Euh... yeah what ?" I said.
"How do we do ....it ?" She asked unsure.
I tried to think.
"Are you able to undress on your own ?" I asked feeling so stupid.
"It hurts but i can do it.."
"No way. I will not let you feel pain if i can help.
"Spencer please. He .... undressed me and i can't even remember it apart from when he tore the dress." She said sobbing. She thought back to him.
"I know and i understand. Do you trust me ?"
"I do but..."
I couldn't think about another way to make her feel better.
"I promise i'll be gentle."
She was thinking about it.
"You're not disgusted by my body ?" She asked.
My heart sank when i heard that.
"I love your body." Where the hell that confidence came from ? "You can hate the marks on your body. They will always remind you about what you lived. But i will always think about how strong you were and how you tried to fight."
She looked at me with tears in her eyes.
"Come here." She told me. I was surprised. I went to her and she opened her arms for me. I didn't hesitated to embrace her. Her warmth was so comforting.
"I trust you and i think i need to see your eyes telling me all those things." She said smiling.
We went into the bathroom. She put her items on her knees. I turned the water on the fill the tub.
When i turned around i saw June trying to remove her pants. Her hands were shaking.
"Wait i'm gonna do it."
She looked at me. I felt like she was thanking me silently.
I rolled down her pants before removing it completely. The bruises were slowly fading but i knew that her heart wasn't.
"I'm gonna put you on the tub."
She nodded. I put my arms around her waist and got her out of the wheelchair.
I knelt to remove her socks.