Why so quiet ?

Chapter 5

POV June

I couldn't stop thinking about Spencer today. It got me clumsy at work. I nearly fell with my tray. I was about to get home because my boss gave me my afternoon when my phone rang.
"Hello ?" I asked.
"Hello it's euh... it's Spencer."
"Oh hi how are you ? You finally called me." I replied.
"I'm fine. Are you ?"
"Yeah i'm pretty good i just finished my job."
"Oh so you're free right now ?" He asked me.
"Yeah i am do you have something in mind ?"
"I was thinking we could have lunch together. Do you want it ?"
"Yeah. Why not. Where are you now ?"
"I'm at the park near your coffee shop." He told me.
"I'll meet you there then."
"Ok i'll wait for you."

POV Spencer

I couldn't stop smiling since the moment she agreed to have lunch with me. I was happy to see her and at the same time nervous to see how she was since yesterday. I wasn't able to sleep well last night because of this. I hoped she was fine.
I was finishing reading a book when hands came on my eyes.
"Are you a pretty lady ?" I asked smiling.
"No i don't think so." She replied.
I took her hands off of my eyes but kept them in mine to see how they were since yesterday. She didn't take off the bandage i did to her. I was relieved to see that she didn't hurt herself again.
"You are pretty." I told her without being aware of it.
"Stop it Spencer you make me blush and you're blind." She said.
"I'm not blind and you should know it." I tried to convince her.
"I said stop it. So where are we eating ?" She asked me.
"At mine." He responded quickly.
"At yours ? Ok. Do you cook well ?"
"I hoped you would help me even if i know it's not really something we ask to a guest."
"It's ok i love cooking."

I led her to my appartement and when we arrived she seemed a bit tense.
"Are you okay ?" I asked her touching her shoulder. She flinched.
"I'm fine. It's just weird to enter you privacy like this."
I thought exactly the same thing when i was in her apartment yesterday.
I opened the front door and let her in. She looked carefully everywhere like a kid on a Christmas day when he opens his presents.
"I never really got a girl here before." I said.
"Should i feel special then ?"
"Yeah you should." I replied surprised by everything i was able to tell her without being embarrassed.
"Ok then thank you for making me a special person in your life mister writer Spencer." She said laughing.
The kitchen is over there so we should begin.

An hour later we finally succeeded in cooking something. I learned a lot of things from her which surprised me not because i thought i knew everything there was to know in this world but because it was pleasurable to learn from her.
We were on the sofa discussing after finishing our plates.

"Does your name has a specific meaning ?" I asked her.
"I don't know maybe it's because i was born in June and they didn't have ideas for my name." She answered not at ease.
"Your parents ? Why did you say "they" ?"
"I told you i don't want to talk about it." She said a bit angry.
"I'm sorry. So it means your birthday is this month ?"
"Yeah it was... euh... yesterday."
"Oh. Why did you not tell me ?" I asked surprised.
"I don't like birthdays it's useless." I could feel this topic made her sad.
"I could have got you something."
"I don't want anything."
We were looking at each other and i got an idea.
I went to the kitchen and searched for the cupcakes i bought yesterday for the team. There was too much so i took it back home.
I found one and searched for a candle. I put it on and turned it on with a match.
When i got back in the living room she turned to me and a smile appeared on her face. That's exactly what i wanted. I came closer and sat.
"Make a wish." I told her.
She closed her eyes and i could tell she thought deeply.
She opened her eyes again and blow the candle. I cut the cupcake in half and she ate it quickly.
"Keep calm you're greedy." I reacted smiling.
"What does it mean ? That i'm fat ?"
"Oh no. Sorry i didn't want to sound like that. You have... curves and... euh sorry... you're beautiful. It's just good to see a woman who doesn't fake and eat what she wants. Don't think i don't like your body....because i really love it...euh...sorry..." I tried to save my head. I wanted to hide myself in a cave right now.
I looked at her and saw she was blushing.
"Thank you...i think...i don't know. You love my body ? It's dirty and weird i don't like that at all." She replied and i didn't understand her.
"Why ? It's good i appreciate your body even if it doesn't really count for me."
"I don't like people appearance. I don't think it's important." She said.
"You think i'm ugly ?" I tried to ask her.
"No that's not what i meant. Your a beautiful human being. It's just that...euh do you see that ring ?" She asked me showing her black ring.
"Yeah you're always wearing it. Does it have a special meaning ?"
"Yeah it does it's a symbol of asexuality." She replied. I was a bit taken back by her answer.
"What does it mean ?" I asked her feeling a bit stupid.
"Euh...it's really intimate you know..."
"Sorry if you don't want to tell me it's ok."
"You know maybe i'll embarrass myself but i feel something strong for you so i think you need to know who i am. I'm asexual which means i don't feel sexual attraction towards people. I like you but don't feel like i want something sexual with you. People think it's not normal that i throw up when i see people with little clothing or just kissing in public but it really disgusts me."

POV June

That's it. I said it. When i looked at Spencer i could see he was surprised but he wasn't judging me.
"I accept you as you are." He told me. I felt like crying. "Is that why you flinched when i touched you shoulder ?" He asked me.
"Yeah. I'm not used to physical contact." I explained.
"Yesterday you let me touch your hands."
"I know i was surprised i let you in without being afraid. I guess you're special ?"
He laughed.
"Yeah i feel special." He said.
His phone rang so he answered it. I decided to let him privacy so i took our plates and took them back to the kitchen to do the dishes. He came into the kitchen and leaned against the door looking at me.
"You don't have to do it ?" He told me.
"Don't worry." I replied.
"Euh...sorry but i need to do something important..." He said embarrassed.
"I should leave then."
"I don't want you to." He told me looking straight in my eyes.
"But you have to leave so i'll leave. We'll see each other soon."
"I don't know when i'm gonna come back but i'll call you." He told me.
"I trust you with that."
I took my bag and he took his. We left and he closed the door. When we were in the street i felt like he was disappointed.
"Don't feel sad or embarrassed." I told him to reassure him.
"I don't want to leave you." He murmured biting his lip.

I was sure that i blushed when those words left his mouth.
I felt growing closer to him and i needed to show him that i trusted him after what i told him today. So i took a step closer to him, took his tie in my hands to lower his head and i kissed his cheek. He blushed. We looked and felt embarrassed so i just waved to him and left. I looked back at him for a second and saw he was still chocked. I hoped he understood what i meant.

POV Spencer

I've never felt that. Even that make out in the pool with Lila was nothing compared to this. It was meaningful. And i felt like she finally let me in even if she still kept quiet about her life.