Why so quiet ?

Chapter 21

POV Spencer

We were currently on a case in San Diego where we've been called for a rapist. This case made me more sick than usual as it reminded me of June.

"Spence are you alright ?" JJ asked me.
"Euh yeah don't worry." I tried to convince her even if i knew she wouldn't believe me.
"You have to stop linking what happened to her to every similar cases." She told me.
"I know it's just ..that... she's always on my mind and those cases are making it worse." I said rubbing my face trying to remove the tiredness off of my body and my mind.
"You're in love Spence and it's good to see you like that but what happened affected you too much. Do you talk about it with June ?"
"She doesn't really talk about it. I try to but the memories are there and i'm useless."

"I'm sure she doesn't think you're useless. She needs you as much as you need her. I'm not gonna teach you something. You need to talk. If you don't it will always come between you two."
"I'm scared. I don't want to lose her too."
"You won't. Does she know about Maeve ?" She asked me.
"Yeah i told her." I remembered the way June reacted and how understanding she was.
"It's good now she knows what you've been through."
"Yeah but it's not the case about me. She doesn't talk about her life or her family. I feel like she doesn't want to share with me."
"Be patient. She seems to be special. Don't force her into telling you." She tried to reassure me before going to talk with Rossi.

I needed to know more about her. I felt so comfortable with her but at the same time i didn't know anything about her apart from what she told me which wasn't much. This made me remember what Garcia told me at the hospital when we were waiting for news about June. "Don't worry she will be fine she's seen worse." I thought she talked about June's family but she told me that she had to tell me herself. I had to know.

POV June

Today i went to the library to buy some books because i was becoming more and more bored at Spencer's apartment. I had nothing to do and i missed him. But yesterday I've got great news from the doctor. I was soon to be out of this wheelchair.  I didn't tell Spencer yet but i hoped he would be as happy as i was. I would go back to my life and be independent again.
I was reading one of the book i've brought on the sofa when i heard the keys in the door. I turned my head towards the sound and smiled because i knew i would see the face of the man i loved. But the usual smile i loved wasn't showing on his face. He seemed nervous.
When his eyes met mine i was sure that something was wrong.

"Spencer are you okay ?" I asked him.

POV Spencer

I couldn't tell her i was fine but i didn't want to worry her.

"Yeah the case was just hard to deal with." I replied trying to act normally.
"What was it about ?"
"You don't want to know and i don't want to tell you. Please coming back to you is a reward to what i do so let's not talk about my job."
"Okay i'm sorry." She seemed a bit disappointed by my attitude.
"Don't be i just want to forget my job when i'm with you."
"Okay besides i have good news." She seemed suddenly really happy. "The doctor said i'll be able to walk again soon."
I should be really happy for her but i knew that it meant that she would go back to her own apartment. And i would be alone again.
"It's great June." I tried to look happy.
"You're lying. I can see it. Why ?"
Apparently there's no need to be a profiler for her to notice when i'm lying.
"You will go back to your apartment." I said.
"That's why you're bothered by the fact that i'm healing." She seemed angry.
"No don't think that. I just want to be with you. We were good living together and i'll be alone again." I tried to not cry but i knew my eyes were showing the beginning of my tears.

POV June

So he was scared i would leave him. I wheeled myself towards him and took his hands in mine to lower him. When his face was facing mine i put my hands on his cheeks and kissed him lightly and slowly pouring all my love in this kiss. When i broke the kiss i tried to look in his eyes but he kept them closed so i kissed his eyelids. Then he finally opened his eyes to meet mine.

"I love you Spencer. Me going back to my apartment will not separate us. I'm not ready to live permanently with you. But you need to keep in your head and in your heart and in your mind that i love you."
He nodded rapidly and kissed me again. I knew he was trying to reassure himself. Those little pecks he left on my lips were shaking but i could feel his love in it.
"Are you okay now ?" I asked him.
He nodded.
"I need words too Spencer." I said smiling.
"I'm fine now." He replied smiling too.
"Okay. I went to the library this afternoon. Want to see what i brought ?" I wanted to change the subject.
"Of course let me see."
"I let the other books in the bedroom." I began wheeling myself towards the bedroom and looked behind me to see Spencer waiting. "Are you coming ?" I asked.
He looked at me and walked slowly towards me. Then he took my hand in his.

We spent the evening arguing over the books i brought but we were good and it was pleasant.

POV Spencer

I felt good but i also remembered that i had to talk with her about her family and whatever happened in the past. But it would be for another day because right now i just wanted to enjoy the moment with June.