Blame It (Of Mice & Men)

Don't Miss This

Sleeping is a lot harder when you have three kids in your stomach. You can't roll on your side easily and you can't sleep on your tummy and it's hard to breathe when you sleep on your back, so when I woke up, I reached my hand behind me, feeling around for Alan. "Ow," he mumbled as I hit his face. "Oops, sorry," I whispered. He sat up, helping me sit up, too.

"Ugh," I groaned. I was so aggravated by not being able to do anything on my own. "This was your idea," I said, glaring at Alan. He laughed and wrapped his arms around me as best he could, sloppily kissing my cheek. "And it was a good idea, it's just gonna be difficult for a few more months," he smiled.

His smile fell a little bit and I raised an eyebrow. "Speaking of a few months, we have a European tour scheduled for October 1st to December 16th," he said, playing with my fingers. My face fell. "Alan, you can't miss the births," I said, choking up. "Babe, you know that when you go into labor, I'll fly out. I'd feel better if you and Jules stayed with your parents until I get back, though" he said.

I couldn't stop the tears as they fell. I was already hormonal, and to find out that Alan might miss the births of the triplets broke the dam. He wiped away my tears with his thumbs, kissing my forehead. "I tried to get them to move it, but they couldn't. I promise I'll be there," he whispered.

****

Three weeks went by faster than I'd wanted them to, and now I stood in front of the giant tour bus, saying goodbye to my brother, my husband, and my best friends. Alan lifted Julia into his arms, holding her to him. Her face was buried into his neck, her arms holding on to him for dear life. He knelt down, placing her back on her feet and kissing her head before reaching his arms out to me.

I hugged him as best as I could with my belly, not wanting him to leave me. He kissed my lips before bending down and placing three kisses on my stomach. "Call me as soon as it starts," he said, kissing my rings as he always did. "I love you," he whispered, pulling me back to him. "We love you too," I said, kissing him again.

I hugged my brother and the others, Julia hugging her uncles before we stepped back, allowing them to get on the bus. "Be careful!" I yelled. Austin grinned and gave me a thumbs up before the door closed and they were gone.

"C'mon, Julia. We're gonna stay with Grams and Popa until daddy gets back home," I said, reaching out for her hand. She took it and we walked inside, packing our things. I picked up Alan and I's wedding picture, smiling at it before placing it in the suitcase. It gave me comfort when he was gone. I pulled out the handle of my suitcase, rolling it to Julia's room. I helped her fold her things and place then in her backpack. She grabbed Squidgy and we walked downstairs.

We drove to my parents house in silence. Neither of us talked much on days like this, and we both knew it; it was almost like routine. After an hour of driving, I pulled into the long driveway of my parents' home. I unbuckled, gently shaking Julia's leg to wake her up. Her eyes fluttered open and she unbuckled, grabbing her backpack and hopping out of the car. I rolled my bag to the front door and Julia rang the doorbell.

"Coming!" I heard my mother shout. The door opened and she smiled. "Hello my girls!" she said, hugging Julia before opening the door further, allowing us to walk in. "April, have a seat, honey. Your feet must be killing you," my mother commanded, pointing to the couch. I did as she said, knowing it was true, Julia sitting beside me. She curled into my side, laying her head on the side of my tummy.

"There's my girl!" I looked up to see my dad standing in the doorway. Julia jumped up, running into his arms. Julia and my father always had that special bond. They did everything together; and that made me happy. My dad wasn't so crazy about Alan, however. He never had been.

I smiled and my dad walked over, hugging me. "How's the babies?" he asked, sitting in the recliner. "They're good," I said, rubbing my huge stomach. "They're kicking right now," I said. "When's Alan going to be back?" he asked, changing the subject.

My father never thought having a husband that was on the road so often was a very good idea. "December 16th," I said, looking down at my phone. "April, you're due November 7th," he said, looking at me with an expression I couldn't quite place. "He's gonna fly out when I go into labor," I whispered, not wanting to cry in front of him. "What if he doesn't make it in time?" my dad asked. I met his eyes. "Then I'll have to celebrate without him," I pushed myself from the couch and walked upstairs, fuming.

It was my choice who I married. Yes, this was hard. It's always hard. But my father had no right to judge me or Alan for his occupation. It gives us money to feed us and our kids and keep us safe, all while allowing him to do what he loves. That's what matters to me. I thought about calling Alan, telling him to turn around and come home even though management says he can't. A twinge of hope told me that he'd make it for the births, but it was burnt out when my father's voice echoed through my head telling me he wouldn't.