Blame It (Of Mice & Men)

Hatred Never Got Me Very Far

I sat on the floor and Julia crawled towards me. She was six months old today and she'd grown so much. Her hair had gotten longer and her eyes were always that pretty hazel, the mixture of colors she got from Alan's browns and my greens. I picked her up and she giggled a little.

"Stop growing," I told her, lifting her above my head. Alan had been staying out late with the guys and tonight was their album release party. He had to leave early because they had to set everything up, so I had stayed home with Julia. I handed her a teething ring and sat her on the couch. She gnawed on the pink ring, grinning at me as I stood up. "Are you hungry?" I asked, lifting her once more and placing her on my hip.

I sat Julia in her high chair and walked to the cupboard, grabbing some mashed bananas and the baby rice mixture. I mixed the two and put it in the microwave for a few seconds. I placed the bowl in front of Julia and picked up the spoon, feeding her the bananas.

She smacked her lips, a habit she'd kept around since the first night home, and I gave her another bite. My phone went off and I picked it up, seeing a notification of a picture Alan had retweeted. I clicked it to see he and a girl I'd been introduced to before, Kina. They were smiling really big and I grinned, happy he was having fun with his friends.

I locked my phone and finished feeding Julia before lifting her and patting her back, trying to get her to burp. Eventually, she let out a small burp and I laughed before taking her to her room. I sat in the pink rocking chair and held her to me and began rocking her.

Half an hour later, I heard small snores coming from her mouth and I slowly stood and walked to mine and Alan's room and placing her in the bed and crawling in beside her. She snuggled into my chest and we both drifted into sleep.

The next morning I woke up to see neither Alan or Julia in the bed. I climbed out of the bed and walked downstairs, rubbing my eyes to see Alan and Julia watching cartoons. He smiled at me and I waved before sitting on the other side of Julia.

"So when are you gonna start wedding planning?" Alan asked, reaching his arm around the back of the couch. I shrugged. "I dunno. I know Tino, Emmalie, your mom, my mom, and I are going dress shopping tomorrow, though." "I'm so stoked," he said, smiling at me. I grinned and nodded. "I can take Julia with me if you want," I said, looking down at our little girl who was sucked into SpongeBob.

"Nah, I'll take care of her. We need some time together," he said, lifting her up and sitting her in his lap. I nodded once more before going to make myself a cup of coffee. As I poured in my sugar, Alan's phone began vibrating. "Alan, your phone is going off!" I called. "Can you answer it?" he yelled back. I shouted back a yes before answering the call, holding the phone to my ear with one hand and stirring my coffee with my other hand.

"Hey Alan! I had such a good time with you last night," a girl purred through the phone. "We should hang out again, soon. Maybe we can take it farther," she said. My anger bubbled up and I slammed my spoon on the table. "You bitch! This is Alan's fiancé. If you ever call, talk to, or look at my fiancé again, I'll hurt you. You mess with my family, you mess with me," I growled. She stuttered a bit before hanging up the phone.

I walked into the living room, picking up Julia before pushing past Alan and walking up the stairs and packing a suitcase. "What are you doing?" He asked. "I'm leaving," I said, grabbing a few of Julia's socks and stuffing them into the case. "What? Why?! What's going on? April!"

I turned and looked at him. "I hope you had a swell time with your side fuck last night Alan because I'm so sick and tired of being treated this way! I'm so sick of us having really good days and then really bad days right after! Does forever mean nothing to you anymore?" I choked, holding up my ring finger.

He looked at the floor and I wiped my eyes before taking off my ring and placing it on the bed. I picked up Julia and walked outside, buckling her into her car seat and starting the car. I looked up with tears in my eyes and saw Alan standing in the doorway, a blank expression on his face, his eyes puffy. I backed out of the driveway and left, my heart heavy and my hand feeling empty.