Imperfect Perfection (Sequel to The Light in the Dark)

We deserve it

"Mrs. Thorn?" One of the nurses says from the door.

"That's us." Zach says while I just quietly stand up. I don't like hospitals and being in them half of my life didn't help either.

"Hello mrs. Thorn, you can take a seat over here." She says nodding toward one of those hospital beds. I hate how whenever you move they make more noise then necessary. The bed was bent up so I was sitting more straight up then laying down.

"The doctor will be here in a minute." She says and puts my folders on a small desk beside of the ultra sound screen and then left the room.

"Are you nervous?" Zach asks and puts a hand on my arm.

"We never made it this far with the last one. We never knew if we were going to have a baby boy or girl. We never got to pick out a name. We didn't even tell Tyler about it." I sigh and move my hand so it's clasping Zach's.

"But we are this side. Stop thinking about what could've been, and focus on what's happening right in front of your eyes or you'll blink and it's over." Zach whispers. Before I have time to respond, the doctor comes in.

"Hello mrs. Thorn." The older man smiles and straightens his rectangular glasses. "Are you wanting to know the gender today?"

I exchange a glance with Zach and sigh.

"Go ahead and tell us." I say.

"Okay..." The doctor says slowly and squirts some gel onto my stomach which looked slightly bloated. "Looks healthy as far as I can tell." He says peering over his glasses.

"So? What is it?" Zach asks. The doctor dismisses him for a moment.

"It's a girl!" He says happily. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

Zach watches closely for a minute squinting his eyes. He looks up worried but doesn't say anything. He looks at me and his gaze softens.

"Is something wrong?" I whisper.

"Nah it's perfect." Zach whispers and reaches down to take my hand. "We are having a baby girl."

I felt like something was wrong and so did everyone else. I knew something was wrong and I knew everyone else knew something was wrong.

"Are you sure everything's okay?" I ask Zach as we walk out of the hospital.

"I promise." Zach says and stops to kiss my head. "Don't worry it's bad for the baby."

I trust him. But I also trust myself. I shake my head and follow him. My stomach hadn't gotten too big yet which was good. It only looked bloated which wasn't natural for me.

Anorexia was a disease and it never left you. It's like trying to wipe a memory and are just looking into it like a mirror showing you a mirror like the ones that make you laugh at how you look.

Those days were behind me though. I didn't want to go back to the mirror.

I close my eyes and run my hand over my stomach. I didn't like it. Soon we were home and Zach knew something was bothering me, so as soon as we stepped in the door he closed it and swung back around to face me.

"Look." Zach said taking my hand off my stomach. "we'Re past this and we aren't going back. We may look back to learn but we won't back up."

"I—" I didn't know how to get out of what he was saying.

"I was worrying about this. What would happen I mean." Zach says quietly. "But it's okay because your beautiful. No matter when you can barely hold yourself up because your stomach is so swollen and no matter when your face gets puffy and you have cravings for the worst food imaginable it won't matter. Because you'll be carrying our perfectly healthy baby."

"What if she isn't perfectly healthy." I say quietly. I remember our last baby. We had names planed for a boy or a girl. I was even stopping in the baby section often just to look at the tiny socks and feel the blankets that might wrap my child soon.

Now I didn't dare. The chances of anything after four months is less likely since I'm already in the second trimester but still. It's hard.

"That won't ever make her anything but ours, Holly." He whispers.

True. That's perfectly true. I sigh and then walk over to the couch.

"Your right." I say sitting. "Do you want me to go get Tyler from the daycare?"

"No let him play with his friends. He needs to socialize more with the other kids." Zach says and sits beside of me.

"Okay." I shrug.

"Look." Zach says and scoots impossibly close to me. "We'll take one of those tests to see if any things wrong with her okay?"

"I'm not sure if we should or not." I say slowly. What could possibly be so wrong with our baby girl that we needed to know?

"Some problems can be fixed, Holly. I've seen some. It's extraordinary. If there is something wrong with her, that we could fix would you really risk not being able to do something?"

"I just want to make this clear I'm not doing anything to her. No matter if they tell us she might only live a few months we are keeping her."

"Don't think I'd ever even consider an abortion. I'd never do anything like that I promise, Holly." Zach says looking at me straight in the eye.

"Okay." I say. Zach reaches over and kisses me softly.

"Trust me okay? I'll get an appointment set up. We'll be fine."

Out of all the things we've both survived I think we've deserved this. I look over at Zach who's pants are baggy over his metal leg. I frown for a minute and just lean on his shoulder. I've never had anyone to lean on but maybe Kacy. She had to leave and he was there. He always was but it took me a while to figure it out.

Sorry guys for the late update! It's been some busy holidays And they aren't even over yet😫 hope you guys had a great Christmas and New Years!

~ Darcy