Imperfect Perfection (Sequel to The Light in the Dark)

Misused

"I just wanted to talk to you." I say hesitantly. "Now there isn't a fun or nice way to say this so I'm going to be really blunt."

      "Okay?" Zach says hesitantly.

      "I think I might move." I say.

       "What?" Zach seems to not have grasped what I just said. "Why would you do that?"

       "I feel like... I can't do this." I scrunch my eyes for a second.

      "This?" He asks me.

       "The pressure. The cameras. You..."

      "Me? What've I done?" Zach asks in a small choked voice.

       "Nothing!" I say quickly. "Nothing at all. It's me. And I feel like I'm not enough."

      "Is that even your choice? To know what I want?" Zach asks.

        "I feel like I can't give you what you want in life."

        "What do I want?" He asks confused.

       "You want kids. You want to settle down and have a family with stable jobs but- me? I can't have kids because of my stupid chemo! I don't want to be in one place the rest of my life! I want to explore the world! I don't want anything more than you. But you want more than just me." I say in a whisper.

       "Did I ever tell you this." Zach asks with a strained laugh.

      "Zach." I say gently and reach forward setting my hand on his "you didn't have to tell me i see it in you. When your with Ginny or that Glint in your eyes when you see families together. That's what you want."

        "I want you." Zach says.

       "You want more." I smile weakly.

       "Let's go home then we can sort this out." Zach says. "We might need a box for the pizza.

•••

"Don't act like you think that's best for me." Zach shakes his head whine he shuts the door.

       "Why not?!" I retort.

        "Because you don't get to decide what I want!" Zach accuses.

       "I don't want you to waste your life on me!" I scream throwing my arms out.

       "Holly." Zach says coming up to me and pulling me closer to him by my waist. I welcomed the feeling I got. The feeling I got every time I touched him. "I would be willing to to do anything to spend the rest of my life with you."

      "And I'll miss every single day I'm not standing beside of you." I whisper leaving my forehead into his.

        "Then don't leave." Zach says closing his eyes. At first i wasn't sure why now I realized he was trying to fight the tears.

       "I'll pay off the apartment for you this weekend." I whisper and pull away from him. I went off to the shower and started crying immediately.

       "Holly." Knock knock. "Let me in." I slide down the door and onto the floor.  "Holly." Zach whispers and I hear him slide down the door on the other side. I see his hand touch mine from the opposite side.

       "I can't even confess in you how upset I am about this." I say in a sob. "Unless your on the other side of a door    And I can't see you And I'm crying in a bathroom." I sigh at my ignorance.

        "Can you open the door please?"  Zach asks.

       "Just give me a minute." I cry. "I need to shower.

•••

"Zach." I whisper as I push open the door from the bathroom. Zach sits on the couch and stands up when I walk in. "I don't want this." I whisper and let him cover the distance between us.

"Then don't do it." Zach says as though the answer is as easy as it sounds.

"Just hold be and tell me everything's going to be okay." I whisper.

"What if it's not going to be?" Zach asks me.

"Then pretend it is." I whisper closing my eyes and letting the warmth of his body embrace me.

"As you wish." He whispers. He wipes me off my feet in one motion and holds me bridal style. "Now it's my turn to shower. Just promise you won't leave me." It would be stupid to leave in the depth of night but just as stupid to leave at all.

"Okay." I promise and sit on the couch. I grab a blanket from the closet and Lay down on the couch. In minutes I'm already asleep but wake up to the creaking of the door. My eyes open slightly to see Zach walk over to me. He leans down in front of me and kisses my forehead. He isn't wearing a shirt right now and it takes me a moment to pull my eyes away from him.

         "I'm awake you know." I smile teasingly.

        "I know."  He whispers. "Come here." Zach whispers picking me up again.
      
        "Your coming into our room." He whispers.

        "No really, I don't deserve that." I say in a strained voice.

         "Please don't fight me on this." Zach shakes his head and sets me down in the bed.

       "Okay." I give in and lay next to him. Zach wraps his arms around me like he always used to.
Always.
What a funny word that can be so easily misused.

___________________________

Authors note!
Please read!!!!!!!!!!
😱 Just keep reading guys okay? Don't give up on me here.

⚡️Darcy⚡️