Imperfect Perfection (Sequel to The Light in the Dark)

Its my Fault

"Are you worried?" Zach asks. "Because there is nothing to worry about."

"Of course there is something to worry about, Zach. Anything could happen after we get these results."

"Nothing could change anything. We will still follow through with this whatever the test says." Zach tells me holding my hand.

"Still." I sigh and look away.

The door opens revealing, not the doctor, but Aaron.

"Nervous?" He asks sitting backwards in one of the doctors rolly chairs.

"A little." I shrug.

"A lot." Zach corrects me.

"As long as your kid doesn't have two heads, then I'll be okay with him. If he does then send him into therapy sessions with me." Aaron tells me holding my other hand.

"Actually it's a she." I correct him.

"Oh well my bad. Your daughter might have two heads."

"Wow Aaron. How are your kids?" I ask.

"They're all good. Tomorrow it'll be a year since Anna started her treatments." Aaron always gets so emotional talking about her.

"Any good news?" I ask.

Aaron shakes his head. "She hasn't got any more tumors since last week, so maybe somethings working finally."

"Well that's good." I say.

"Yeah." Aaron nods. The door behind him opens as the doctor comes through. "Well I'll leave now. Good luck." He kisses my cheek and stands up. He gives Zach a polite nod and walks out the door.

"So?" I ask the doctor.

"There's a high chance of your daughter having autism." The doctor deadpans. "We are very sorry."

"What do you mean? There has never been anybody in my family with autism." Zach says accusingly.

I look down at my hands.

"I never knew anybody in my family, Zach." I whisper. I can almost sense the realization.

"That still doesn't make sense. Even if her whole family was autistic, it would only have half a chance of her ever being autistic." Zach says shaking his head unbelievably.

"We can take another test if you want to see which side it comes from." The doctor tells us.

It's gotta be bad when your not even sure if your in shock or what.

"No way." Zach shakes his head. I didn't want to know either. Did they want us to know who to blame? Who's parents to be mad at?

"Can we leave now?" I ask.

"Just sign this."

•••

"Holly." Zach says as I walk toward the taxi, already waiting for us. "Holly please look at me."

I keep walking until I'm at the door.

"Just get in the car, Zach." I huff. He quickly runs over to my door and pulls it the rest of the way open. "Please just get in."

Zach pulls the door closed behind him. I scoot to the far end so I can just sit, staring out the window.

I know he would scoot closer to me, and he does. I didn't mean to take out all my anger on him, but who else was I to take it out on? The poor taxi driver?

"I just don't want to talk right now, okay?" I say not looking at Zach.

I was guilty I'll admit. The chances it was my fault, was very high.

"Are you mad?" Zach asks. Yes. Not at him but at me. I'm mad at me and the world and everything but him. I didn't tell him that though. I just stayed quiet.

When we got home, I was the first person inside. Tyler was at day care now so the house was quiet.

I took the time that Zach was paying the taxi driver to run into the bathroom, throwing up. I read somewhere morning sickness could come and go, but mine never seemed to stop.

I wiped my mouth off and locked the door. I sat on the toilet seat and leaned my head against the back wall.

"Holly?" Zach asks, knocks lightly. "No matter what happens I promise you we will make it through. We always have. Our entire lives there isn't anything wrong with having to fight for what we want."

I still don't say anything but I breathe outward.

"I'll make lunch okay?" I nod even if he can't see me and I know he's walked away.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

SOOOOO this was very short and late I'm so sorry!!!! But ZarahDreamer  made me some Fantastic covers for the light in the dark and this book! You can go check out The light in the Dark one of you want but please give her a follow!