Fear of Losing Control (Book #1 in the Infinity Chronicles)

Chapter 7. Soft Side

I am running. My legs move so fast, I can't feel the ground beneath me. The streets and alleys move by as I run. I'm wearing my old clothes from home, jeans and a t-shirt. I continue running and don't stop. Then I turn my head to see behind me, and scream.

She is chasing me, a knife in hand. She yells at me, I do not hear her. She is my mother.

I'm afraid of her. She might kill me. I pick up my speed. I run so fast and far, that my lungs begin to burn. I cannot breath. I choke and collapse on the ground in exhaustion. Then I see her.

She is towering above me. I scream.

But instead of her raised knife going through me, I feel a soft touch on my shoulder. Someone is shaking me.

"Get up," I hear someone hiss.

My mother disappears and my eyes open.

I am not lying in the street, but in a library. My mother does not stand above me, but Loki is there.

He is kneeling next to me. He is shaking me awake. Then he sees my open eyes and relaxes.

"You alright?" he asks. It's either I'm still dreaming, or he really is wearing a look of concern in his eyes.

I don't say anything. I merely try to sit up and Loki helps me. His touch is soft an gentle.

When I am sitting, he pulls his hands awkwardly away.

"Thanks," I mumble.

"I just wanted some peace and quiet," he says, his eyes turning cold again as he stands up and starts to leave.

"Why did you do that?" I ask.

"Do what?"

"Wake me up."

He tenses, his back toward me.

"I already told you why," he says without turning around.

"You've had a nightmare to before, haven't you?"

"I'm a god."

"Oh, please. I know even you guys get nightmares."

"Oh, do you now?" he asks as he turns around, the hatred returning to his voice, "So Odin told you, did he?"

"Told me what?"

"You know, your parents true heritage."

I am silent. The subject is still touchy for me. I must reveal that on my face, for Loki smiles evilly and continues.

"It's hurts doesn't it, to find out that your whole life has been a lie! To find out that everything you thought you knew, was false!" he spits.

I am shaking now, not for what he is saying, but for how he is saying it.

"It's hurts to know that you are not who you thought you were!"

Before I can help it, I whisper, "You monster."

He hears me, and his expression changes. His face no longer wears a smug smile, but a hurt face. He is broken inside.

Then he turns around, and tries to get to the door before I say another word, but fails.

"It hurt didn't it?" I say mockingly without meaning to, "You hate being called a monster. You have feelings to, they are just bitter."

He says not a word but makes for the door, and leaves.

The monster has feelings.

"How did you do that?" Odin asks me in shock. I turn to see him sitting on the floor, amazement on his face. I had forgotten he was there.

"I don't know," I say truthfully.

I don't know how many days we sit there, Odin and I. It could be only one, or maybe more. I have no idea.

Once Loki came in and brought us bread and water. He avoided all eye contact with me. I reminded him of his brokenness.

One day I finally ask Odin, "How did Loki become like this?"

"I don't know," he sighs, "But he wasn't always like this."

He then launches into a story of Loki when he was little. But it is not detailed. He never paid attention to Loki. I could tell because he knew way more about Thor than Loki. He favored one over the other.

I still don't know why Loki is the way he is, but I have suspicions. The way Odin made it sound, was that Loki was mischievous as a kid, but not bad. He was jealous, but only wanted to be loved by his dad. He never got it.

I believe that what Loki did was to get his dad to notice. To get the love he never had. But I don't tell Odin that. He is my only companion in this library. And I don't want to upset him.

Though he is one of the main causes for Loki's action, whether he knows it or not.

Author's note: Thanks for reading this! Just so you know, I don't own any of these characters, they are property of marvel. Thank you to all who read this, voted, and commented. Please continue doing so! I know this chapter is short but, I didn't know what else to put in it. I have another book that I'm writing, so it would be great if you read it for me thanks! It's called She Left An Angel. Oh, and if you have any suggestions, please comment them. Thank you!