Blind Emotions

16. Nostalgic

"Jayden?"

"Everest! I knew it," he grabs my forearms suddenly, making me flinch but he doesn't seem to notice, "you looked just like mom except for your eye. What happened to your eye?"

I can feel Killian's rage radiating from his body and Adam the same way. I notice them clenching their fists probably fighting to rip us apart and bringing attention to us.

"Who's Jayden?" Adam questions the slight twinge of frustration clear in his tone but we aren't focusing on him.

I observe him more closely voicing my thoughts, "You look a lot like him. Father I mean." He flinches at the observation and looks down retracting his grip from my forearms.

Killian and Adam glance at each other before nodding and taking us out of the dinning room, leading us to Killian's office, us following mutely, glancing at each other every so often.

They drag us in closing the door in the process. He sits me on the couch with him while Adam and Jayden? Lorne? I don't know what to call him- sit in the chairs in the room.

"What is going on? Do you two know each other?" Adam asks.

I'm silent just staring at him seeing what differences he's had since the last time I saw him, him doing the same thing.

He obviously is taller and more built and the deep pink scar that once ran through his left cheek has faded into a faint white line now, his eyes are a darker forest green than when he was young.

Killian growls from impatience and so does Adam, but I also think there was a hint of possessiveness in their tone.

"This is my brother."

"This is my sister." We say simultaneously.

"Wait what? How? You didn't smell like a rogue when I first met you and you were apart of the Starlight pack." Adam questions.

I glance at Adam, and take a look at Killian to see him staring at me with soft eyes, knowing how I feel about my brother. I shrug at him in response then turn my attention back to my brother curiously to hear his story.

"I ran away from home and was found by the Starlight pack, they trained me and turned me into a pack member." He says turning a small glance to Adam but overall keeping an eye on me.

"So what," everyone turns their attention on me. "You had a new life, new name, had it going good for you, meanwhile I was stuck with him being trained." He flinches at what our father used to say to justify his abuse.

"Dont call it that." He grimaces.

"Why that's what it was, training through starvation, neglect, abuse-"

"Enough!" He shouts. It turns silent as he takes harsh breaths obviously trying to shake off the past.

"Why did you leave?" I ask.

"I couldn't take the constant fear after Jessica's death; that I would be next, I was scared he would kill me too. I couldnt live in fear anymore I had to leave." He states as I look up at him in shock.

"What about me?" My voice cracks making Killian place his hand on my back surprising me but also making me more upset, "I was in mourning for Jessica's death and then I found out my brother left me to rot in that hell hole."

He shook his head, "I was gonna come back, I told you in that letter. I was going to come save you."

"But you didn't." I state monotonous. I was being cold and a bitch I know but I was mad at him and his excuses. I just wanted him to admit he was wrong to leave, and give me hope for his return. "After years of waiting for you I realized the only person that could save me was me."

"I did come back for you though." I narrow my eyes at him. "I went to go get you. To ask for a deal to trade you or something. But when I got there they were already dead. Everyone was dead and whoever wasn't; left. I assumed you were too. I came back to the pack and met Adam. And you know the rest."

"Who killed them?" he questioned.

I clench my fists on my lap as Killian rubs my back trying to reassure me, "I did."

My brother swallows hard "How?" The way he said it made me furrow my eyebrows, because it was almost like he already knew. Does he know why I'm so different? I look away gathering my thoughts and not giving him an answer. I barely even remember what happened myself and I have to figure out a good moment to ask him why I am so strange.

I look back at my brother who stares at me with guilt and shame swirling in his tear brimmed eyes. "What did he do to you while I was gone?"

I shrug not displaying the raging emotions flooding through my body, "The usual; beat me till I was unrecognizable, locked me in the underground cell, engaged me to Dane." Killian stood up abruptly making me grab his hand and forcefully sit him back down. He puts a painful grip on my hand but I don't react, just making circles on the back of his hand with my finger as he loosens his grip, but overall gives me a glare. How is this my fault?

"Dane the pack warrior? Why would father engage you two?" My brother asks.

"What, did you assume he would keep me in the cell? That I would grow up healthy waiting for you to come get me?" He squirms under my unwavering stare, "This isn't a princess story Jayden this is reality. I finished training, he turned me into a submissive mutt. Perfect for marriage. Luckily though Dane died before we we're actually married." Killian relaxes even more as does my brother.

"Ever did you and him..." My brother starts to ask but from the warning look on my face he quickly asks another question but Killians unwavering stare shows he knows what my brother was going to ask, "What happened to your eye?" Everyone seems to snap their eyes to my face wondering the same.

"When I escaped out of my cell, I saw father punishing one of the kids inside of the house, I guess the kid broke a dish or something. I blacked out from rage before I turned, I came back to when my eyes were being gouged out by father. I let myself go limp and when he thought I was dead I ripped his throat out. I remember watching the life leave his eyes and being surrounded by dead bodies before my vision blurred. My wolf killed anyone that got in my way. Afterwards I ran. I ran and ran till Catherine found me, she brought me in and then I met Killian." I glance at him and see guilt swarm in his eyes before he quickly looks away. At least he gets somehow how I must have felt being abandoned down there.

"Is he your mate?" Jayden asks pointing at Killian.

"Yes, but it's complicated Adam can probably tell you about it later." Killian explains releasing my hand awkwardly.

Jayden nods before shaking his head, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry all that happened to you." He says as tears fall down his cheeks.

I look away brushing stray hairs from my eyes not being able to see my brothers pleading tear stained face, "I know." I stand up and walk to the door placing my hand on the knob and glaring at it, "but it isn't good enough." I say solemnly turning the knob and exit the room.