Blind Emotions

17. Connected

After the talk with my brother I was itching to go for a run so as soon as I left I went outside hiding behind a tree undressing and shifting before running into the woods.

Hours must have passed as I could feel the air go from warm to cold as the sun starts to go down proving I've been running mindlessly through the woods for a while.

Looking straight I start to head back to the pack, not knowing there was a giant oak tree to my right that I grated against painfully hurting my shoulder. I let out a growl of frustration and sit down on the ground trying to gather all of my thoughts. What the hell is wrong with my life that I can't be with my mate, I'm half blind, and then when I'm dealing with all of this I'm reunited with my brother that left me in that hell because he was scared. I shake my head just wanting to go home so I head to the pack house when I abruptly stop.

Home?

Since when did this pack become my home? I shake my head harder than before, I can't think about this right now.

I finally make it back to where my clothes were and get dressed finally arriving at the pack house, finding Killian on the porch obviously awaiting my arrival. I pass by him not in the mood to talk to anyone and go upstairs to my room hearing his footfall trailing behind me. I open my door not bothering to close it knowing he's just going to enter anyway and go to lay on my bed focusing on the ceiling above me.

"What do you want?" I question bluntly not in the mood for formalities.

"I just came to see how you were. How are you?" He says as I feel him lean against one of the bed posts.

"I just found out my brother, you know the one that abandoned me, left me, to go to another pack and strive there, while I was stuck in hell on Earth, so I'm just peachy." I respond sarcastically.

"So you're not fine?" he asks jokingly.

"Killian. Out. Now." I say pointing to the door.

"I was just kidding." he chuckles bringing a small smile to my face at the sound. "Well now that I see you're not in the talking mood I'll leave." He says removing his weight from my bed post.

I abruptly sit up, "Killian, uh-" I stutter. I didn't want him to leave, and that frightened me more than anything. "Do you want to talk for a bit?" I ask immediately regretting it because of how desperate I sounded, "Unless you're busy or something than I understand you don't have to." I say to recover my embarassment but only succeed in embarassing myself even more.

"I'm not." He answers quickly, making me have to smother a grin from his acceptance.

He lays on my bed next to me putting one hand behind his head as he looks up at the ceiling. Surprised at his actions I mutely lay back to my original position doing the same.

"Can I ask you something?" He asks making me nod my head in response, "Who's Jessica?"

His question catches me off guard as I abruptly turn to him making him mimic my actions. "She was my best friend, when I lived in that place, but she died around the time my brother left."

"I'm sorry to hear. How did she die?" I get a sudden flashback of her lifeless body hanging, swinging on the tree she was strung up on with her mate; April, strung up next to her. I immediately close my eyes tightly trying to get the image away before I threw up.

Once it leaves my mind I realize that Killian is still waiting for an answer. Opening my eyes I look at his curious face, "She was found out to have a same-sex mate and my father enraged at the fact his greatest warrior refused to reject her mate and mate with someone else, he strung them up and killed them both." I say looking lifelessly at the ceiling. "After she died I used to blame myself, I even had nightmares where she would come to my room and blame me for not helping her. That she would be alive if I had argued for her and her mate." I say bitterly getting reminded of the nightmares that scared me because of their reality.