Going On

Theo

“Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony.” 
― Douglas Coupland, Shampoo Planet

I watched Noelle turn in her sleep. Her parents had left a while before, to head back home.

I stayed behind to make sure she was alright.

It was cold in the hospital room, and she kept kicking her covers off. I would get up from my chair and slowly put them back over her, so as to not wake her up. I thought that maybe she was just warm at first, but she kept shivering shortly after she kicked them off.

It was my job to make her as comfortable as possible, so I continued to do so, even though it was a pain to get up every five seconds.

Around the fifth time she looked up at me while I brought the covers up to her neck.

“How long have you been awake?” I asked.

She smiled softly.

“Is it bad that I kept kicking them off so you can come over here?”

I shook my head.

“You should feel bad for making me do all that for you.”

We both laughed and I sat on the edge of the hospital bed.

She watched me sleepily.

“So how are you feeling?” I asked.

“Okay, I guess. How are you?”

I looked at the ground.

“Lonely, since you’ve been here.”

“I’m right here.”

“But you’re asleep.”

She smiled.

“Just wake me up when you need me, Theo.”

She looked at me awkwardly.

“I um... I found your note.”

I ran my hands through my hair and stared at the ground.

“Oh, that? That was just... I don’t know. I’m sorry, I know it’s... It’s really... It’s too much. I’m-I’m sorry. If you want me to leave-”

She put her hand on mine before I could get up.

“I want you to stay.”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded and rolled back over on her side, letting my hand go.

“I’m sleepy,” she muttered.

I walked back to my chair and sat down.

“You don’t have to stay.”

I shook my head.

“I’m staying. No matter what happens, I’m staying. I will be here until I can walk out with you, with my hand in yours. And if that doesn’t happen...” I trailed off.

Noelle continued staring at the wall to my left. I couldn’t tell if she was listening.

“Well then I guess life wouldn’t be worth living,” I muttered.