Going On

Theo

"They say when you are missing someone that they are probably feeling the same, but I don't think it's possible for you to miss me as much as I'm missing you right now."
― Edna St. Vincent Millay



I watched Noelle breathe.

It was slow and erratic.

"She may not make it."

"She swallowed a lot of water."

"She hit the water pretty hard, she may have broken something."

"I'm sorry, Theo. We're doing all we can."

I watched her, looked at how the messy bun she had made earlier had fell apart because of the water, staining the pillow behind her.

I watched her breathe.

I was worried this may be the last time I could see it.

Her arm was hooked up to an IV, and I could still see the X's, deeply ingrained in her arm. They were so red and swollen.

She turned over, breathing softly.

Her heart monitor stayed steady. Thank God.

I missed her, and I was in the same room as her.

Somehow, it was even more lonely than if I was in the room all by myself, because I was constantly reminded of what we could be saying to each other. Every time she breathed I hoped a little word would come out, soft and fluttery just like she always spoke.

But it didn't, and I remained in the dark room alone, watching the love of my life struggle to stay alive.