Fear Will Lose // twenty one pilots // Joshler

Chapter 11

Josh groaned as he woke up to his alarm going off at 6.30am. He rolled over and hit the off button on his phone, then rolled back over and looked at Tyler's empty side of the bed.

Normally he didn't need an alarm, he was used to the early starts after years of working at the office, but after missing a night's sleep he decided it was better to be safe than sorry.

After a moment of adjusting to being awake, he got out of bed and opened the curtains, then got in the shower.

The water was cold and refreshing, but the shower gel stung in the cut on his palm. He winced a little, then shut off the water and got dressed.

He smiled to himself and thought about the sarcastic remark Tyler would make about him not properly drying off.

His thoughts drifted to Tyler, who'd spent the night on Campbell ward. Today was his birthday, but it hadn't exactly started like they'd planned.

The night before, once Tyler was settled into his room and the staff told him visiting hours were over, Josh had spent the evening on the phone. He called his boss who yelled at him for several minutes, but once Josh explained the situation he begrudgingly gave him the rest of the week off as long as Josh promised to work from home and was completely caught up in time for work on Monday.
Then he called Tyler's mum Kelly, who cried down the line. Once she collected herself, they agreed that she and Chris should come anyway and see Josh, then visit Tyler if he felt well enough. Josh also reminded her that there was still the chance he could be discharged early and be home in time to see them.

As he walked through the kitchen and helped himself to a bowl, then filled it with cereal, he felt a slight pang of déjà vu.

Earlier that year Tyler had spent 4 months on Campbell, and consequently Josh had spent 4 months alone. Tyler wasn't particularly noisy, but his absence meant a strange quietness fell through the house, and it unnerved Josh a little.

As he felt himself starting to miss Tyler's morning routine, he unlocked his phone and clicked shuffle on his playlist to try and stop his thoughts running away from him.

He sat at the dining room table alone, facing Tyler's empty chair, and ate his cereal.

Half way through the second song he shut the music off and slid his phone away from him in a moment of frustration. Tyler would hate him to use the phone at the table, and Josh had grown accustomed to his rituals to the point where they had become his own.

Josh poured the remains of the half eaten bowl away and washed and put away his bowl and spoon. After gulping down a full glass of water, he headed to his car.

The night before he had spent almost an hour scrubbing Tyler's passenger seat and surrounding area clean of his blood, and there was now no sign the event had even occurred, but he still shuddered as he got in.

"Good morning, I'm Josh Dun-Joseph here to visit Tyler Dun-Joseph." He told the receptionist as he arrived, he figured she must have been new because he was very familiar with the rest of the staff but didn't recognise her.

"Visiting hours don't start until 9.30." She said sternly without looking up.
"Sorry I know I'm a bit early, but it's his birthday and I was hoping to see him now." He attempted to explain.
"It's 7.45, you'll need to come back at 9.30." She drolly repeated, showing no interest in Josh or in Tyler's birthday.

"Oh come on Sue, let him in." Josh heard a male voice he suspected to be Ryan call from down the corridor.

This was confirmed as Tyler's keyworker turned the corner and they made eye contact. Ryan smiled warmly as the old friends shook hands.