1 - Refuge

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Not even I can find a way to stop the storm, oh baby it's out of my control what's going on
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There were screams, gun shots and a cracking sound of bones crashing, being broken. One second my family and I were having afternoon tea, when men and women in rags and dirt covered skin, tattoos, and a lot of metal on their body were crashing through the doors of the parlour we were dining in. Shocked in true horror I saw a men with a grotesque looking tattooed face and full arms or legs covered in pictures of ripped flesh, skeletons or creepy smiley faces, holding and aiming their guns towards our family. Behind the doorframe I saw other men, our guards in their black and red uniforms lying on the ground, lying in puddles of blood. There was a loud noise of a gun being shot off, next thing I saw was my mothers yellow dress, being tainted by a dark red, which slowly spread around her chest. I screamed in utter distress, as our butler Aurelio dragged me and my four year old siblings to a hidden door in the walls next to us. Before closing I glanced back to see the rebels aiming their guns at us, on the ground my father, starring with a blank expression towards me, a huge gash on this neck. He was dead. My mother next to him, the red stain now covering all of her chest and parts of the once white ruffles on her neck. I couldn't see her face, and I didn't want to  imagine the agony and pain she must have felt, just listening to her gasping for air, slowly drowning in her own blood. The door closed shut with the metal lock behind it with a ramification lock. We were safe.
My silblings, Ignazio and Rocio were crying, the old butler was shushing them. His slim stature was tense and rigid, as I saw his hands trembling. My own body was trembling all over, the shock clearly visible in my colour drenched face. They were dead. We are alive. What happens now?
My question was soon to be answered my Aurelio pushing us through the narrow secret passages, leading us to a door. Behind the door, bright light blinded me at first, causing me to stumble and loosing balance. I felt ill, especially when I saw my hands, full of the drying blood, my mothers blood. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to collapse onto the ground. But I couldn't. I needed to be strong. I am Lilliana Emilia Anessa Hecores of Amarett, heiress to the Spanish throne, I couldn't afford not being strong, I had to be. For the sake of my siblings, my family, and my pride.
The butler ushered us further away from the palace, always looking anxiously behind his back, probably to see if we were followed.
After a while we arrived at a black car, placing us inside, Aurelio drove us away. It was his car.
"Where are we going" I asked, sitting tensed up in my seat. I still couldn't believe what just happened, and it happened so quickly.
"Princess, I'll bring you to Barcelona. From there a boat will take you to Canada." I nodded slowly. I stayed silent, only occasionally trying to calm my siblings down, other than that just petting their heads silently, letting them drift off to sleep. I also wanted to sleep. Car rides usually tire me, but I couldn't. My body was to anxious. My mind was racing, was pounding, flooding my brain with thoughts. But for some reason I couldn't really grasp any of them. I wasn't concentrated. All I felt was worry, worry about the future.
What will happen in Canada?
How long will we have to stay? Do I want to leave Spain?
The answer to the last question was a definite no. But apparently I had no choice. It was not safe here.

In Barcelona we were transferred to a ship, a cruise to be exact. They hid our tainted dresses and suits with long coats, even though it was a warm spring day. With our hoods up we ushered the small metal plank to get into the cruise. The ship seemed luxurious, with a dark green carpet floor, white walls and golden ornaments everywhere. As I dragged my tired siblings by the hands up the stairs. They almost slept while walking. I don't know how they could be so exhausted and tired at a time like this, but they were only five. A staff member showed us to our rooms, which were on the top floor, separated from the rest of the ship and guarded by 'top security' as he assured hundreds of times, I wonder how much he knew or assumed. It seemed like he wanted to calm us down, which I appreciated a lot.
I shared a room with my siblings, two beds, a small balcony, and guards in front of the door watching everyone who even dared to walk in front of our door closely. I felt caged.
On the first day we stayed in the room, only a guard came in from time to time to talk. He asked us thousand times if we were alright, if we needed anything, if the food was alright, if we wanted something to drink, if we wanted chocolate, or how we liked the cruise in general. I also appreciated his attempts of making conversation, but I only replied with one word phrases, mostly consisting of yes, no, fine or good thank you. My siblings got bored easily and asked where we were going, how long we are going to take or if they could go and play. I tried my best to entertain them, singing lullabies or telling bedtime stories to make them fall asleep faster.
On the second day the guard came again, asked similar questions. Ignacio wanted to know where our mother was. I know they saw what happened, but maybe they didn't know what it meant maybe their brain had kept them from retaining such memories. I hoped, I really did.
I finally threw our blood tainted clothes out over board, I should have done it the day before, but I just couldn't really move. I was still stunned by the event and with every time I looked down to my hands I remember the dried blood, the water turning to a rust color as I scrubbed it off,  but no matter how hard I scrubbed my hands still felt stained.
Now I was dressed in oversized T-shirts and old track pants, which Aurelio brought us before the ship left the harbour a couple hours after our arrival, I managed to play hide and seek with the kids. Or just goofed around, even though I felt like crying all day. At night Rocio asked me for a story again, this time I thought of a story of a cat who wanted to catch fish, but in the end became friends with them. Sometimes I come up with crazy stories, and seeing how my sister likes cats and stories, how could I not tell her one so she could sleep peacefully.
The third and fourth day rolled by quickly, so did the next week. At one point, Jose, the guard joined us during daytime, while his colleague was outside the door. He was good at entertaining Ignacio and Rocio, even played sword-fight with my brother. I tried to be as happy as possible so they would be too. They were only kids, yet too young to understand any of this and every night before drifting off to sleep I hear them mumbling to each other.
"When do you think Mummy will come?" Rocio would say. "I don't know. They are at home, aren't they?" Ignacio would answer. "Why would they send us away?" my sister inquired timidly.
"I don't know." My brother would repeat. "Do you think they stopped loving us?" I could hear the sadness in her quiet, high pitched voice. Ignacio would answer at first, denying. But as the cruise distances itself from Spain, he gave up hope and wouldn't answer anymore. I couldn't see them in despair like this, so I rolled out of my bed , laid myself between them and  hugged both of them. "Mummy and Daddy will always love us, don't ever forget that. Don't, ok?" My vision became blurry and I knew I was close to crying. How could I ever tell them what really happened? I loved my siblings, I couldn't see them sad like this. "Lilly, are you crying?" Ignacio asked. I shook my head forcing a quiet laugher. "No, I am fine, just sleep, okay? And don't ever forget my words. Mummy and Daddy love you, and so do I."
I choked back tears as a small weeping sound was giving away how sad I really felt. "I love you too, Lilly." Rocio said, scooting closer to me. "Love you too, sis." My brother joined in and soon both five year olds were fast asleep in my arms.

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