I'll Help You Hide From Them

Negative Effects

Once Kier arrives Dr. Illingworth leaves, saying something along the lines of not threatening the doctor patient confidentiality act.

"How are you Drew? Have you become claustrophobic yet?" Kier jokes as he settles down on the couch next to me.

"I might soon." I reply cheerfully. "Any news from the team back at the police station?" I ask, worried that no one's told me the exact number of casualties.

"You should really stop thinking about that." Kier tells me softly.

"I can't help it. Those officers I was talking to only yesterday are dead because Shane has some kind of obsession with me." I admit.

He gives me a careful look for a moment before he leans back against the sofa with a sigh. "Well, it looks like what I was planning to get you to do to take your mind off everything is not looking at all possible." He groans.

"What were you planning?" I ask him curiously.

"Something about what we talked about earlier. I know it'll be really stupid but I know that Ralph would really appreciate it." He carefully replies.

"What is it?" I repeat curiously.

"There's a group of blind date nights and I just figured I should take you there so that you can finally do what Ralph wanted you to." He explains.

I frown at the sound of this. "Either way it's not going to work." I sigh.

"Don't be such a party pooper, it'll be fun and will definitely take your mind off the cannibal hunting you down situation." He explains.

I tremble a little since just hearing the word cannibal makes me instantly relive what happened to me. Kier notices my reaction and gives me a sorry look.

"We are going to get him, you have to believe that." He tries to reassure me.

"I know, I'm just worried about what he's going to do before we catch him again." I reply.

"Stop thinking about it!" He warns.

I force a smile. "I can't ever turn it all off. I'm only good at my job because I suspect everything and struggle to trust anyone. I'm a total freak." I sigh.

"Stop being so hard on yourself. Yes, you're unique but that doesn't make you anything less than a key asset to this whole police department." He tries to convince me.

"I don't know if I'm losing my mind or not but do you ever feel like everything's drifting further away?" I ask him, feeling completely hopeless at just asking it.

He gives me a very worried look. "I know what you mean but I haven't felt like that in a long time. You should make sure that you keep seeing doctor Illingworth, he can help you overcome that." He tries to not be offensive.

I only manage a bitter chuckle. "Sorry I scared you, I just get so panicky that sometimes the thought of actually getting killed by that animal doesn't seem so bad. I mean, I really hope he'll not eat me when I'm still alive but it'll all stop eventually, right?" I question.

He seems to be upset to hear me talking like this. "Drew, what you're saying is perfectly logical but you need to keep fighting. My brother died, trying to protect you. I know this might not seem very fair to say this to you but it's certainly true. I know that he'd understand what you're feeling right now better than I do but I don't think he'd want you to join him so soon." He carefully words. "Please, Drew, you can't just let them destroy you like that. So what if you're paranoid and hiding from the enemy, you're brilliant at what you do and after Ralph died, you're all I have left." He almost pleads.

"Why don't you ever talk about your parents? They're still alive, I know they are so why don't you ever go to see them?" I ask him harshly.

He stares at me with his mouth agape. "You're outta line." He warns.

"In what way?" I growl.

"Ralph must've told you." He shakily replies, his eyes watering up a little.

"If he told me why would I need to ask you?" I confront.

"Stop it Drew." He warns, actually sniffing and wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Why should I if you can't even tell me the truth? What was so wrong with your parents that Ralph had to stress himself looking after you when they would've been perfectly capable of doing so themselves?" I harshly continue.

"They weren't capable." He whimpers, unable to look at me.

"Stop being such a baby and tell me what was wrong with them!" I warn.

He shakes his head, sobbing. I'm partly expecting an answer but he seems to be weeping about something else entirely. "If I had known Ralph was gonna die, I wouldn't have been so mad at him. I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to hurt him."

"Well you certainly did! Do you know what his last words were?" I hiss.

"SHUT UP!" He screams at me, tugging his hair and covering his ears as he curls up on the floor.

I flinch a little at how much he actually strains his voice, starting to put myself in co-pilot mode and just coasting through this, continuing to rip into the young trainee.

"You should've known that I'm a monster. Even Ralph wouldn't be spared of my critical analysis so don't take this personally. This is what I'm so good at! I'm a piece of shit who asks the questions no one wants to answer. Tell me, is it really that much of a good thing that I'm like this?" I challenge.

"I don't care about just your job, you're my friend!" Kier snaps. "You might not think I'm your friend because you were my brother's friend first but you're a good friend to me okay, probably a better friend than all the other people in the Academy." He argues. "I understand that you're going through something really horrible but please... don't take it out on me!" He tells me sternly.

I stop at the sight of him like this, feeling pent-up guilt building up in my chest at the thought that I was the one who upset him like this. "I'm sorry Kier, it was wrong of me to attack you like that." I slowly admit. "I won't blame you if you can't forgive me but are you still willing to remain my partner?"

He lets out a little laugh as he wipes his face. "Don't be silly, I've worked so hard to be a cop to let that little dispute stop me." He lightly replies. "You're stressed and not really yourself so I can forgive you. I just wasn't expecting you to be so upfront or confrontational." He admits.

"I've always been a brat." I tell him honestly.

"That might be true but I see what Ralph liked about you." He smiles before getting up and heading to his bedroom with his bag, probably to do some homework before bed. He doesn't even say anything like 'goodnight', letting me know that I really screwed up there.

I let out a shaky sigh, just wanting the floor to swallow me up so that something like that doesn't ever happen again.

What have I done? Kier... Ralph will you ever be able to forgive me for making him cry like this? I still just don't understand. If your parents are still out there why did you take him in? If he was angry at you, why didn't he just move in with his parents?

Dammit, why did you leave me with more questions than answers?