I'll Help You Hide From Them

Low Point

I keep pacing the room while I wait to hear any news of Kier's wellbeing.

I failed Ralph, I couldn't protect him. Please forgive me!

O'Malley is in the other room on the phone, demanding answers. I look through the doorway, my eyes landing on his belt of weapons in defeat.

All I need to do is eat a bullet now and it'll all be over. The shooter and Shane won't be able to make me suffer any more. I don't even care about what happens to my body if I'm dead. I just don't think I'll be able to keep this up much longer.

I discretely slip into the room to borrow his pistol, keeping out of his sight. I then go into the bathroom, coming to the conclusion that I can show I'm grateful for their efforts at protecting me by blowing my brains out in a tiled room rather than get it to cause a mess in the carpet or the wallpaper.

I take a moment to observe the gun when I've locked myself in. It's a plain gun with pretty good grip. I check the clip to see if it's loaded, finding that it is.

My eyes dart around for a moment before I gulp down some saliva.

The fact that my mind has compiled hearing my brother's warning with the images of Kier being garrotting brings me to tears as it brings up the pending feeling of dread. I try to stay brave but I'm reduced to sobbing weakly.

I sob without control, knowing that my frail mental and emotional state can't handle any of this. It occurs to me that I should hold on till the morning to discuss this with Dr. Illingworth but he doesn't seem to understand the futility of it all.

I drop to my knees with the gun in both my hands, my mouth drying up despite the tears I'm able to produce. Coming to the conclusion that I can't see all that clearly thanks to the tears, I just close my eyes, muting my sobs by putting the barrel of the gun in my mouth. The rattling of the thing in my shaking hands brings me to do all I can to calm down.

This isn't a bad thing, this is the only real choice I have left.

I'm just about to take a deep breath and pull the trigger when there's a knock on the door. "Detective Woolnough what are you doing in there with my gun?" O'Malley asks. "Open the door."

I freeze up, not really knowing what to do.

"If you don't respond, I'll break the door down." He warns.

I weep as I look up at the door, hearing him count down from five. As much as I know I need to pull the trigger, I can barely move apart from flinch at the door being broken open.

"Detective! You don't need to do that, please give me the gun!" He gasps, looking horrified to see me with his gun in my mouth.

My breaths get faster as my body tries to prepare for me to pull the trigger but O'Malley disarms me, attaching his gun to his belt he's now wearing.

"Detective, you can't give up now. I'll take a bullet for you. Nothing will hurt you unless it goes through me and I'm pretty tough, I know I can handle almost anything the people who are after you throw at me. Please understand, I know that this is hard and that you'll naturally be depressed and paranoid but your life isn't something you should even consider taking." He tells me.

"Kier's dead, I will never complete my promise to his brother." I weep.

"No, I finally got news on your partner, he's been resuscitated and is now recovering in the hospital. Wilson is at his door keeping him safe." He softly tells me, instantly making me feel awful that I tried to kill myself.

"I need to see him!" I tell him.

He shakes his head. "The hospital is too far and this is an opportunity gift wrapped for the people after you to do you more harm. You've been through enough for today, frankly I can't permit you to do that." He decides.