Ok, so in the middle of WW1 this guy named Germany wandered around the forest while talking to a stick, looking for some relative of the long gone Roman Empire. He then finds this mysterious box of tomatoes, randomly lying on the ground and says "Look, a mysterious box of tomatoes. I doubt it's suspicious" so he walks up to it and- oh shit, it moved. For some unknown reason he decides to open it and- what do you know? A weird Italian guy pops out and claims to be a virgin.
Germany suspects that this weird tomato dude, who's probably on crack is the guy he's looking for, and his suspicions are confirmed once Italy affirms it. Germany punches Italy. Italy then spends more than 10 screen seconds laying on the ground making weird noises.
After that, Germany keeps Italy as a prisoner and comes to the conclusion that he's annoying as hell and useless. He wants him to leave but Italy is clingy as fuck and won't leave. Well, shit.
Also, Italy sings to Germany about how Germans scare him, cheese, and smashing barrels.
Ladies and gentlemen, GerIta was born.
*COUGH* WW1 IS OVER, NOW WW2
Germany is prepared to fight again but- oh crap, now Italy's his ally. Jeezus.
Germany then finds this dude named Japan that's polite as fuck. He recruits him as an ally. Yay, more people.
Now Germany and his team are stranded on an island???
Italy's running around and Japan found a pinapurr.
Random Chibitalia flashbacks that show how much of a dick Austria is.
Weee, since we're stranded on an island, let's make a campfire and eat some marshmallows.
O shit boy, Nihon has an idea. "Let's name our group "Axis Powers" because it sounds badass." Germany has agreed and Italy seems to be in a temporary coma.
NOT SO FAST- another group of idiots, the Allies, are just around the corner watching their every moves. America then gets a super awesome idea. "Since we're in the middle of a war, it'd be totally appropriate to make our own campfire and roast marshmallows. But we'll do it better!" thus, they end the day sitting next to a fire while Iggybrows scares the holy crap outta them with a song. Lovely.
Ok now it's another day and the allies are having a reunion. America is shoving hamburgers in his mouth almost as fast as I run to the charger when my phone has low battery.
England tries to slap some sense into him and- ok wow, apparently now we're in another scene.
Things are moving fast, folks.
Germany is in his house or something and suddenly Italy appears with this, apparently shy dude (HAHAHAHAHA) and claims that he's his brother. Germany is going to present himself but WAIT A SECOND- this guy turns out to be a total asshole. But then, we come to the conclusion that he's almost as stupid as his younger sibling.
NEXT EPISODE
Italy is kidnapped 3 times by the allies and calls Germany to save his soft ass. Goly gee.
Italy accidentally tells the allies that Germany is a sadist and watches porn. Germany is s h o o k
Everyone is s h o o k
The rest of the season is just France forcing England to marry him, gay chibi shit, Russia breaking his back, America getting depressed while cleaning, an alien invasion and more crap.
Ta-da! Hetalia in less than 600 words.
