The Shrangster

My new favourite class...not

Shrek's P.O.V:

I woke up at 9am. Shit. I am gonna be late for lessons now goddamnit. Did I eat too much onions last night? Everything after the feast was just one big blur. I got ready as best as I could and went down to the Great Hall after getting lost a million times. I met up with my homies, Onion and Swamp at the Gryffindor table, which in my opinion is the most swagalicious house in Hogwarts. The Gryffindors and Slytherins are huge-ass rivals apparantely. Well I don't blame the Slytherins. They never had much swag anyway. All that time in the dungeons wore off on them. Haters. Anyways. Shout-out to my homies, Swamp and Onion. For saving my timetable and decent food. My first lesson is double potions....shit........with the Slytherins..........even bigger shit. I tried to get to potions with Swamp and Onion. Keyword: TRIED. We got lost. By the time we got there we missed the first lesson, thank the onion god...oh wait I meant...o-oh no, I lost a lesson. Too fucking bad. We managed to find three empty seats at the back, thank onion god. We where taught by some fat, walrus-seal dude called......Mr Manatee. I know it's not his name but how the hell do you expect me to know every teacher's name?!?!?! Anyways. As we stepped one foot in that class, we were met by dirty looks from Mr Manatee.

'You are late!' said Mr Manatee.

'No shit sherlock'

Mr Manatee looked shocked. Hmm wonder why......wait shit did I just say that outloud?!

'Well I suggest you take a seat Mr.Ogre, Ms.Wilson and Ms.Potter before you three get detentions. Also...ten points from Gryffindor...each' voiced Mr Manatee as we took our seats.

Fuck you manatee boy. I hope you go to hell with all your fellow manatees. I can't even look at your ugly-ass face without throwing up. You are so ugly you give Voldemort nightmares. You are so fat your patronus is a cake. You are so goddamn ugly Hello-Kitty said goodbye to you. Who the hell do you think you are? You and your ugly-ass face walking around the castle pretending you own the fucking place. I hate you. Shame on you. Shame on your face. Shame on your goat. Of course you're bitter. You will never be as fabulous as me. If you think you are gonna put me down with your detentions and points well be my fucking guest.

'Jesus Christ wasn't that a bit too much for being late?!' exclaimed Onion.

'I know right! He should have went easy on us!' agreed Swamp.

'What crawled up his ass and died anyways?' questioned Onion laughing.

'Probably a ten foot pole' I replied smirking 'Anyways what the fuck do we have to do?'.

'Cure for boils' replied Swamp instantly.

'Get ready for destruction' Onion said.

I guess I did ok. I mean it turned a shade of purple mixed with green. That's good.......right? That was my last thought before the potions class went kaboom. Mr Manatee DEFINITELY didn't seem pleased. I mean come on. I gave him a new decor. His old one was depressing. I would have pointed that out but Onion, Swamp and I got kicked out. With a hella lot of detentions. We didn't make a potion but we did make good memories. Anyways. Gonna use this precious time to go create some havoc while we can before our next lesson....