The Shrangster

Pranking in the night

Shrek's P.O.V:

Soon before I knew it. The day ended. Thank the onion god, I didn't think I would survive any longer if you ask me. I obviously went to dinner with Onion and Swamp. As usual, planning mass destruction, stuffing ourselves with food, the usual. But this time. When we went up the Common Room Onion,Swamp and I hung out around there until the last few people went up to bed. We fled up to our dorm. I took out a duffel bag from under my bunk while the others got their stuff. It was full of pranking supplies for tonight. We snuck out of the common room and made my way towards the dungeons, avoiding teachers, Filch and his creepy cat on the way. We could have used Onion's magical cloak but her brother found out and took it back. We went to the Slytherin common room and of course, it had a password.We thought. Steph tried the most obvious thing in the world.

 'Pureblood' chanted Steph.

 It opened. We stepped into the cold,dark room. We looked around. Green armchairs, silver rugs, green and silver banners and alot of lanterns covered most of the room. An empty fire-place stood at the middle of the middle. It reminded me of the Gryffindor common room except...colder and more spacy. I took out my wand and pointed it at the common room.

'Colovaria'.

And soon to my delight. The Slytherin common became no more. I watched in glee as the green and silver turned to Bronze and Blue. You might be wondering to why I didn't change them to the Gryffindor colours. Well if I did do that, someone from Gryffindor will get blamed so...why not blame this shit on Ravenclaw? Onion,Swamp and I where planning to change the common rooms in another house colour so that way, a student from that certain house will get blamed! Slytherin will blame Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff will blame Gryffindor, Ravenclaw will blame Hufflepuff and Gryffindor will blame Slytherin! Also we'll prank some hand-picked students from each house on the side. So now the common room is ready, just need to pick some students to prank. We all come up with a student or two to prank individually. 

'I get to prank Snape!' exclaimed Onion excitedly.

'Then I get Bellatrix and Narcissa!!' said Swamp equally as happy.

'Fuck it, I am gonna go haunt that puny little bitch Malfoy' I requested laughing.

Steph went up to the girls dormitories for the Blacks whilst Onion and I went up the guys dormitories in search for Snape and Malfoy. We FINALLY found their dorm. We quietly unlocked the dorm and crept in. Four people where innocently sleeping not knowing they where gonna get pranked. This should be fucking marvelous. We found Snape's and Malfoy's beds. 

Onion pointed her wand at Snape and quietly whispered 'Colovaria'. She almost burst out laughing as Snape's inky black greasy hair turned a bright shade of pink. It was sparkly and everything! She again whispered the same enchantment until everything Snape owned became either Gryffindor, Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff coloured. She added her last touch as she changed Snape's shampoo and body wash to green dye. 

I went up to Malfoy and pointed my wand at Malfoy's hair and shrunk it until only his bald head remained. I also made sure to dispose of all his clothes by throwing them out of his window down to the Black Lake. Yes,every single one of them. Swamp,Onion and I evacuated the scene until...we heard footsteps. FUCK WE SURVIVED THIS LONGED WE ARE NOT GOING TO DIE NOW.  We took off running until we reached the Charms corridor, panting for air. 

'I have an idea!' exclaimed Swamp.

'Oh my god, spill now!!!' Onion replied enthusiastically.

'What if we charm the statues into wild ducks!' Swamp uttered.

Jesus Christ I swear those two are geniuses sometimes. Thank onion god I am friends with these two!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

'I know a spell' I announced.

With that we walked down the corridor silently with the occasional 'reformabit anates' which followed with loud quacking as the statues transformed into a flock of wild ducks. After having transformed about three corridors worth of ducks we decided that was enough for tonight. We turned back to Gryffindor tower. We bid each other goodnight as we climbed up tiredly to our dorms. As soon as my head hit the pillow, my inner ogre was out fast asleep murdering the Slytherins in his dreams as he awaited the morning...